Stories from the Arrowhead Pond
by TheLazyBlackCat
Summary: A series of short stories about our beloved feathered friends.
1. Chicken Soup

**Disclaimer:** This is (in case you haven't noticed where you are) a fanfic, meaning that none of these characters belong to me in any way, shape, or form. I claim nothing other than actually writing this lil ficlet. I hope you like it!

* * *

"What?" the pudgy manager looked around. "I thought you guys said you liked broccoli, so I added it in." He stirred the soup, watching the little green pieces bob in the broth.

"Phil! You can't seriously be this dense!" Mallory backed away from the pot in open revulsion.

"Wing would lay half a dozen eggs if I fed him this!" Nosedive sniffled. His brother was practically dying as it was, he certainly wasn't going to help him along.

It'd been nearly two weeks since the aliens first appeared and they were all sick to some degree or another. Wildwing and Grin were bed ridden, quarantined in one of Phil's guest rooms while toughing out a week long fever. Tanya was doing her best to treat them all while staggering through her own illness. The worst part was that Phil didn't know what to do. The group was barely even eating now and he was worrying himself sick about them. He stood to lose thousands, if not millions if these birds didn't get better soon. So, he decided to make a hearty chicken noodle soup, just like Nana used to make. He even got creative adding broccoli, seeing as how they had all loved the little green plant when they first tried it out.

"Maybe I should have just stuck with carrots," he muttered to himself.

Before any more arguing could resume, the kitchen door swung opened and Duke made his way in, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. "Somet'ing smells good," he perked up making his way to the table. "Oh! That looks good," he picked up a bowl and spoon that had been set next to the pot.

"It's chicken soup!" Mallory slapped his hand away from the pot.

"It's delicious, is what it is," Phil praised himself, but was quickly miffed by the duck's decision to not even try it.

Duke literally dropped the spoon, beak agape, and stared daggers at the pot-bellied human.

"What!?" Phil whined. "You haven't even tried it!"

"Phil! We're ávere not raptrín."

"Avene-what?" The human mangled the word.

"Ávere," Duke repeated unsure of himself. Did humans even have a word to mean what he was trying to get at? He was sure they did. "Wha'da ya call 'em?" His mind raced to recall the word he was looking for as he snapped his fingers a few times. "Herberbs..? Herbvorbers..? Plant based diet only. Ya follow?" The grey drake hoped that the human would catch on because he wasn't exactly sure how to explain himself any better.

Phil looked down at the pot once more and it finally clicked. "Ohhhh…" he looked slightly embarrassed as he covered the soup. "I didn't mean to-"

"No offense taken," Duke cut him short as he sniffled. They'd have to be patient with the human just as much as he had to be patient with them. It was eerie to realize how similar yet vastly different their languages were. Certain words held one meaning in one world and a completely different one in the other while others just didn't translate or even exist at all.

Duke turned to face the other two ducks and sighed. "Couldn't ya two just 'xplain it ta 'im? I don't expect any of 'em ta be experts on ducks," he waved a hand referring to the human race in general.

"Wait, you have chickens on your world?" Phil suddenly realized. "Are they, you know, like you? All humanoid and stuff?"

The three ducks eyed the human curiously. "Well, yeah," Nosedive affirmed. "What else would they look like? And, can we, you know, get rid of that thing?" he pointed at the offending pot of soup. "Even if you're joking, it ain't cool, man!"

Phil was silent for a moment, glancing between the three and the pot. A new thought blossomed in his mind and he cringed.

"It ain't that confussin'," Duke took a seat at the table, misreading the human's expression as puzzlement. Phil blinked at him and the duck chuckled to himself. The grey bird took it upon himself to enlighten the human a little about themselves. "Our system is made of three 'abitable planets. Our world's the furthest from our star and mostly all ice an' ducks. There are other birds, o' course, but they prefer the clos'r, warm'r planets. Some of them oth'r birds are raptrín."

"Rap tin..?"

"Raptrín," he corrected before shaking his head and simply giving up trying to correct the human's pronunciation. "Close enough. Raptrín are, I think ya call 'em, 'birds of prey'?" he ventured. "They'll eat oth'r birds an' meat."

"Oh," Phil nodded.

"Way before the first Saurian Conquest, raptrín would attack ávere. Ta eat us and try ta expand their territory," his feathers ruffled at the morbid thought. "But through some lengthy war a very long, long time 'go, we all struck a deal. They left us 'lone and we left 'em 'lone. Since then, the inn'r most planet farms oth'r animals for the raptrín and our world trades wools an' precious stones fo' food we can't grow in the snow an' ice. And ev'ryone lives happily ev'r after."

"Give or take," Mallory nodded at the extremely abbreviated history lesson as she heated water for some hot chocolate.

Chocolate, it turned out, was another one of those new things to them. But unlike the broccoli, they seemed to love this treat as much as humans. They were even more ecstatic when they realized that it came in a variety of savory forms and flavors. It was even a drink! If they ever found a way back home, Mallory was hell bent on taking a tree with her. At least Phil said it grew on a tree. She'd have to confirm that later.

"So what do you guys eat when you're sick?" Phil asked.

"Not other birds," Nosedive shivered at the thought.

"Yeah, about that," Phil brought his hand to the back of his neck. He wasn't sure how he was going to explain to them that duck was also a dish many earthlings enjoyed. How does anyone even begin to explain that?! Well, he didn't have to do it now, but he'd have to tell them preferably sooner rather than later. Hopefully he'd remember before they ever saw it on a menu or something.

"So, I take it humans eat chickens?" Mallory shuddered at the thought as she received a nod from her new manager. She sighed dismayed. "They're probably small and stupid like the other Earth birds, huh? I guess there's no helping that. And you probably eat it too, right Phil?" Another nod confirmed her suspicion. "Whatever," she brought the four mugs of hot chocolate to the table. "Just don't eat it in front of us, please."

"No problem." He'd probably have to give up breakfast omelet burritos as well. He watched the three take sips of their drinks and was glad that he didn't have any eggs in the fridge either. Who knows what kind of a monster they would have taken him for then.

"Next you'll be telling us you also eat ducks!" Nosedive added jokingly as he placed his mug down. The other two chuckled, sipping their hot drinks.

Phil froze. He set his mug down on the countertop quietly. "You know, I think we need to have a group talk about Earth," he smiled nervously at the members of his new hockey team.

~ * End * ~

* * *

A/N: Not long ago, in the darkest recesses of my wardrobe, I came upon an ancient tome from my childhood. It was filled with lore and illustrations that I had once hastily scribbled as a child.

LOL! Yes, I found an old notebook with little stories (which, now that I've grown up, know them to be fanfics) that I had written out as a kid. One of them struck a cord with me and I have been trying to write it out in story form for about two months now. And while trying to hash it out, this little plotbunny cuddled up next to me, urging me to have some fun. And I have. I'm sure it's not an original idea (I haven't read through many Might Ducks fics here), but I still hope you enjoyed the read.

On a final note, I simply made up "ávere" and put an accent on "raptrin". I noticed a few stories calling Falcone "raptrin" and had no idea where it was coming from until I read his character's wiki page. It struck me as odd that the ducks are labeled "humanoid" while Falcone was singled out as "raptrin". At first I thought that whoever edited the wiki page meant to put "raptor" (which is the word used for birds of prey), but then thought that it could have very well been the series writers who where creating the series' world. So, in the end I decided to go with the thought that it was the creators building their little world and added my tiny little twist to it.


	2. Tidbits

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own anything simply because I don't have the millions of dollars required to buy anything from Disney. It's a sad life, really.

* * *

Wildwing glided back into the net, partially because as a goalie it was his job to fill up the net as much as he could in order to prevent the puck from getting in. And then there was the massive wall of muscled feathers that had just sped past the blue line.

As a netminder, he was used to the abuse and beat downs that others players barraged him with. He thought of it as a sort of badge of honor that he could stop just about anything that came his way. Sure, there were times that not even the protective gear could stop a puck from stinging when it hit him, especially his brother's wrist shots.

But this was Grin.

He swallowed, second guessing himself before pushing those thoughts of doubt and fear out of his mind. His stormy eyes glued on Grin as he barreled past the top of the hash-marks. Wildwing squared up into the net the best he could. Grin moved to the goaltender's left, pulling knotted arms back further than Wildwing thought possible and snapped his stick with the force that send Vulcanized rubber flying at the young goalie.

The puck resonated loudly against Wildwing's padding as it made contact, sending the white drake back into the net while the small black disk bounced off of him, never crossing the red line on the ice.

"Opps," Grin brought a gloved hand up to his beak, his features of concerned mien.

"Wildwing!" Nosedive skated up to his brother, pulling him out of the net and helping him to sit up. "You okay, big bro?"

The goaltender nodded, bringing a gloved hand up to his chest. He didn't think it was possible, but the wind had literally been knocked right out of him. He was sure that he'd find a bruise there later.

"Oh, mama!" Duke came to a stop next to Grin. "I don't ev'r wanna be on da receivin' end of dat!"

Grin looked down at the eldest duck on the team worriedly before returning his gaze to the goalie. Tanya was kneeling next to Wildwing making sure that he was alright while Mallory watched from behind the net.

"Don't beat y'rself up, kid," Duke patted Grin on the back, trying to reassure his teammate. "Dat slap shot of y'rs is gonna win us a lotta games."

Grin's face remained worried. He skated up to the goal and presented a hand towards his team captain.

Wildwing reached up, allowing the taller drake to help him to his feet. "That was impressive," his voice was quiet. "I don't think I've ever been hit like that."

"My apologies," Grin responded.

"No, not at all!" Wildwing brought his hands up. "I just didn't think anyone could hit a puck harder than Dive."

Satisfied that his brother's life was not in any danger, the young blond looked up at Grin with bright eyes. "Dude! That puck nearly went through him!" he was simply amazed by what he had witnessed. "Goalies are gonna cower when they see you coming down the ice! Can you teach me to swing like that!?"

"Fellow hockey playing ducks, gather around for the good news!" Phil's voice cut the practice short as it echoed throughout the empty stadium. The ducks skated up to the bench and waited for the human to make his announcement. "You guys are now officially the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim!" he pulled out a lavishly embossed certificate out of a manila envelope and presented it to Wildwing. "I had to make a few calls and pull some favors, but you guys get to play this season, even though you technically missed pre-season. Your first two games are gonna be home games! So, you better clean up the mess you're making under the arena soon. Also, we'll be getting the first of the staffing in here next week."

"Thank you, Phil," Wildwing handed the paperwork back to their new manager. "We're sorry for whatever problems we caused you in getting us into the league."

"It was nothing I couldn't handle," Phil puffed up with pride.

"What kind of troubles?" Tanya was curious as to what humans considered questionable about them. Her exposure to the species had been limited over the nearly two month stay on Earth and mainly included the employees from Lectric Land, the arena, and Phil Palmfeather. That sampling was far too small to form any solid conclusion about mankind.

"Well, there was the question of the number of players," Phil brought his hand up to count off on his fingers. "But with the videos of you guys playing from dawn until dusk, they've overlooked that one easily. Two of you are girls. No offense, I know what you two can do and am totally supportive of you ladies. None of you are legal residents, but you weren't exactly residents of Earth beforehand. The league is gonna help sponsor you all on that one. And two of you are 'underage'. But seeing as how you guys said you mature at a different rate than us humans, I just weaved that one as accommodating to your alien cultural values that hold no semblance to human values."

"Two?" Tanya looked around. "Nosedive is the only one younger than 'eighteen'."

"So is the big guy, Grin," Phil pointed out.

The group turned to look at the tall drake before returning their gazes onto the human.

"That's according to Tanya's calculations, of course." Tanya had worked out a formula to equate the difference between Puckworld and Earth's calendars. It was a bit on the touch and go side, but it was the most accurate thing they had. Phil was just grateful that it had been simple formula enough to follow. He huffed, amused. It was funny that math worked the same way on both worlds, with the exception of a few numerals written differently. Math really was a universal language!

"Grin is younger than me?" Wildwing stated, befuddled.

"You didn't know?" Phil was skeptical. "How could you not know? Aren't you guys all friends or something?"

"I don't know about 'friends'," Mallory looked around and wondered where the human had gotten that idea from. Just because they had appeared together didn't mean they had known one another before. "I think we're still acquaintances at this point."

"Really?" Phil scratched his head.

"Dude, we barely knew each other for, like, two days before we got here," Nosedive leaned onto his hockey stick.

Phil was stunned. "But you guys play so well together. Like you've been playing together for years!"

Duke looked down at the human somewhat amused. "Any duck worth their tail feath'rs can play hockey. It's second nature ta us." He chuckled at the human's puzzled look. It was a look he tended to wear more often than not. "We told ya, ev'ryone back home plays hockey."

The human nodded, recalling the tale he had been told not too long ago. It was still a hard to swallow story and he had some doubts. After all, a giant dragon hell-bent of on making a whole civilization pay for the actions of their ancestors from who knows how long ago? Nah, there must be something else that these birds weren't telling him.

"I see," Phil muttered looking them over. He pushed all those thoughts out of his mind. He'll ponder all that later during some down time. For now, he was just happy that he could get them into the League without too much trouble. Not to mention he was overjoyed to realize that they already played so well together. Chances were they wouldn't want to hire a coach either and that just meant more money that stayed in pocket. These birds were the greatest investments of his life!

The six players watched as the human turned, merrily tucking the manila envelope under an arm and humming as he headed back to his office.

"Nice fellow," Duke commented. "Though I think ther' might be a few loose screws in ther'," he pointed to his own grey head.

The group chuckled. Phil was a little eccentric, but for the most part pleasant and very committed to his work and them.

They return to their positions on the ice in order to continue their practice. Though, to the human it appeared that they had great chemistry among themselves, they were still getting to know one another. There were still many rough corners that needed to be buffed out before they were a coherent team.

"So," Nosedive eagerly skated up alongside Grin, a wide smile on his bill. "We're the happening youngsters of the team, eh? I think you and I are gonna be the best of friends, bud!"

~ * End * ~

* * *

A/N: I don't know why I'm still writing, other then this seems to be compulsory now.

Anyways, I thought it would be comedy gold to make Grin the second youngest member of the team. I mean, common, a huge guy like that! It's HILARIOUS! Right?! RIGHT!?

Maybe not? Maybe I should get out more...


	3. The Way of the Dodo

**Disclaimer:** I own the Mighty Ducks Animated- what's that? It was a dream? I don't really own the series?! SON OF A BISCUIT!

* * *

"You guys keep this up, you'll end up like the dodo," Phil huffed as he watched his team file in from another night of crime fighting.

"What's a 'doe-doe'?" Mallory cocked her head to the side.

"OH! I know!" Nosedive shot up straight. He cringed in pain as his hands settled on his lower back. "It's this weird green bird with a yellow head and a little red umbrella growing out of its skull. It acts really crazy-like and lives in this wacked out place where clocks are melting on trees and there's random stuff floating round in the air. Like doors and eyeballs and flying company logos. I saw it on T.V."

The group's focus shifted from the youngest member of the team to their manager, waiting to see if what Nosedive had said held any truth.

"What?" Phil looked even more puzzled than the team. Clearly, Nosedive was finally losing his mind with all those hits to the head. Or maybe he was confusing things? "Are you talking about a Dalí painting?"

"What's a 'Dolly Painting'?" Wildwing almost didn't want to know. Humans tended to obsess over the strangest things. Like those paintings of clowns that creeped him out. For all he knew, this could be a series of creepy doll paintings. A shiver raced down his spine at the thought.

"Dalí is a 'who', not a 'what'," Duke corrected. He was pretty sure that Dalí was the name of an artist whose art he'd seen at some point. "He painted some really strange stuff, but I don't recall seein' green birds with 'ellow heads in any of them paintings," he added as an afterthought.

"Nosedive was watching something about art? Yeah right!" Tanya snorted.

"No way, dude!" Nosedive jumped in. "The Dodo isn't a painting, he's a cartoon character! He lives in a place that has all these weird things happening!"

"So a famous artist named Dolly made a cartoon about a bird named Doe-Doe, who lives in a wacky place?" Mallory was still trying to wrap her head around this. Wasn't a 'doe' a female dear? How did 'doe-doe' then became a name for a cartoon bird? That didn't make any sense at all!

"No, no. Dalí was an artist, not an animator, sweet'eart," Duke tried to explain. "But, he nev'r painted no birds with 'brellas growin' out of th'ir heads."

"Then, who painted 'Dough-Dough'?" Wildwing scratched his head, thoroughly perplexed. Who would name a bird after the main ingredient for pastries?

"This is confusing," Grin put in.

"Hold on a second, boobies!" Phil brought his hands up, stopping the team from further running in circles on the matter. "Salvador Dalí was an artist who did these surrealist paintings," he nodded in agreement towards Duke. "Real famous for painting melting clocks on trees and big, empty landscapes. And a whole lot of other weird stuff."

Phil turned his attention to Nosedive next. "The Dodo, as Nosedive knows him, is an old cartoon character that does wacky things for laughs. He's the last of his kind."

"Yeah, that's him!" Nosedive smiled broadly.

"Why is he named after a female deer?" Mallory asked, still somewhat muddled about the matter.

"What?" Phil blinked a few times. "No, no! Not 'doe-doe'. D-O-D-O," he spelled it out for her. "He's a cartoony version of a type of bird that was called a dodo." Clearly, this was not a bird that existed on Puckworld either.

"Ohhh," both Mallory and Wildwing nodded in understanding.

"So, the dodo is a type of bird?" Tanya asked.

"Yes," Phil nodded, happy that their little Abbott and Costello skit had finally come to an end.

"So, um, what did you mean by 'end up like the dodo'?" she questioned curiously.

"Dodos are extinct, babe. Something about they were stupid and couldn't fly and got themselves killed, or something like that."

"So, you're calling us stupid..?" Wildwing narrowed his eyes.

"What? NO!" Phil shook his head. "It's an expression! It means that if you're too reckless you'll end up dead. Extinct. Like the dodo! It's not just part of my job to be looking out for you! I actually get worried about you guys!"

"And now we're reckless?" Duke added fuel to the fire, a grin on his thick bill. He knew Phil didn't mean any ill will or disrespect, but he couldn't help himself from making the human squirm in his shoes. Besides, it was always fun to play devil's advocate.

"NO!" Phil stomped frustrated. "AGHH! Next time you guys need something explained you can look it up in an encyclopedia!" he looked at them annoyed.

Duke came up to Phil, placing a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. "I was jokin' with ya," he patted the man. "And thanks for worrin' 'bout us." The grey duck gave the cheesiest smile he could muster.

"Yeah, right," Phil muttered, eyeing the former criminal.

"What did a dodo look like?" Tanya was still curious.

"OH! I've got the toon recorded! We can watch it if you guys want!" Nosedive was much too eager to share his bounty with the rest of his teammates.

"Sorry to break it to you, kid, but that is not what a dodo looks like," Phil advised.

But Nosedive had already wrangled both his brother and Tanya by the arm and was leading them excitedly towards the recreational room. Duke took hold of Mallory's shoulders, guiding her in the same direction amidst death threats, all the while grinning mischievously.

Phil watched amused and shrugged. "Common, big guy," he waved for Grin to follow. "Where do you keep the popcorn?" he asked.

~ * End * ~

* * *

A/N: Another little excerpt that didn't quit fit in with any of the stories I'm writing, so it has been demoted to a short story. This is yet another exploration of the idea that there are many colloquial and cultural differences between Earth and Puckworld.

Thanks for the reviews. It really makes me happy to see that people are enjoying my random babbling.

Fishy: perhaps we should open a public fund raiser to raise money to buy the rights to the show and then get a team together to make a second season! XD

Also, I believe that the arena has only had 2 names thus far. Arrowhead Pond of Anaheim (the Pond [of Anaheim] for short) and Honda Center.

BrittPerkins: Since there's no way of communicating with you, I don't know what to say.

FindingTobias:Thanks! I have so much trouble writing Duke's accent the most, so I'm glad to hear that you can 'hear' him and the rest of the characters talking. Now I know I'm doing something right!

BraveKid: Thanks for being the first to have my back in this particular endeavor that will amount to nothing in particular.


	4. Questions

**Disclaimer:** Don't own the Mighty Ducks Animated Series. It's a sad day for that, really…

* * *

"Why is Dragaunus still on Earth?"

Tanya looked up from the box in her hands. "Huh?"

Wildwing avoided wearing the DuCaine Mask while in public and in casual dress. He was less intimidating and much more approachable when he didn't. And that, Phil had emphasized, was very important to keeping up their public image.

The tall drake stood gazing idly at the row of identical boxes set on the shelf before him. "Why is Dragaunus still on Earth?" he repeated worriedly, eyes narrowing slightly.

Tanya remained quiet, her gaze trained on the pensive duck who had shadowed her on her shopping trip to Lectric Land. "What do you mean?"

Wildwing turned to look at her, his brow furrowed deeply. "Dragaunus has the Dimensional Gateway. It's worked even without belerium crystals to fuel it. He brought Lucretia and Falcone, and now Audrey, from Puckworld. He's opened it a few times to try and get rid of us or anything threatening him. It can clearly operate without belerium. That means he has access to Puckworld, Limbo, or any other place he can dream of. But he hasn't used it to leave Earth. He could, if he wanted to, leave us stranded here. So, why hasn't he? Why is Dragaunus still on Earth?"

The blonde smiled ruefully and returned her attention to the box in her hands. "The mysteries of life," she giggled.

"I'm serious," Wildwing countered.

"There couldn't be a show without a villain."

The drake's face deadpanned. Was that her attempt at a joke?

"I've, uh, wondered that ever since Grin destroyed the belerium in the Raptor's engine room when we first got here. The best I could figure is that he doesn't want to abandon the Raptor." She placed the boxed electronic into the shopping cart and crossed out the item from her list. "I guess, you know, that there's something in the Raptor he can't just pick up and take with him. Or maybe the entire ship is something he's not willing to let go of."

Wildwing leaned onto the handlebar of the shopping cart and followed the young engineer down the aisle, pondering those thoughts. "Okay, let's say that's true," he began. "If all he needs is belerium to fuel his ship, wouldn't he have already used the Dimensional Gateway to traveled to one of his other warships in either Limbo or Puckworld to retrieve some? Why hasn't he done that?"

Again Tanya tittered as she pulled another box off a shelf. "Did you forget?" she added the item into the cart. "Belerium is extremely rare and even harder to find. My guess is that the Raptor was the only ship that was powered by belerium."

"Oh, right," Wildwing slumped down onto the handlebar. That made a lot of sense. If he recalled correctly, Tanya had mentioned something along the lines that the Hunter Drones ran on some sort of synthesized form of belerium. It was hard to manufacture and was probably the reason Dragaunus had so few robots at his disposal. "What about installing a new engine that doesn't run on belerium? Why hasn't he done that?"

Tanya crossed out a few more items from her list before looking up to the stocked shelf and shrugged. "I'd be too troublesome? Especially with a ship that size. He's tried retrofitting it at times, we know that. B-b-but completely taking out the entire engine would be a huge undertaking! He'd be out in the open, his cloaking shield would be non-operational. The ship would probably be useless for who knows how long, and-"

"Okay, okay. I get it," Wildwing sighed heavily, draping himself over the shopping cart even further. His mind began to wander down the myriad of different reasons why the Saurian Overlord was still on Earth. In the end, he was just grateful that the lizards didn't simply wake up one day and leave to never return. Their still being on Earth meant that there was still a way for the ducks to return to their home world. And that had added an extra pep to each of their steps.

"Hey, Tanya?"

"Hmm?" she hummed without turning.

"What is all this for?"

"Upgrades for Drake-One, mostly. And I'm revisiting that blueprint for a new Migrator. The, um, current one looks and drives like it's been through a war."

"The last upgraded Migrator fell apart at the seams."

"The last one still needed a lot of fine tuning before it was taken on a joy ride," she looked at him accusingly.

"I'm just saying," he brought his hands up in surrender. A sly smile played on his bill. "Should I go get a few boxes of duct tape? You know, to help keep this new one together?"

"Very funny," she playfully shoved him as she made her way past the younger drake.

Wildwing laughed lightly, turning the shopping cart in the narrow aisle and chased after her. It was nice to have an off day and just enjoy the company of his teammates without being thought of as a leader.

~ * End * ~

* * *

A/N: Tanya is the best!


	5. Rain

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own anything that has previously belonged to the Disney Company.

* * *

Wraith all but glided along the darkened alley, wary of keeping to the shadows. He didn't need those featherless creatures of this planet to start a commotion about his presence. He growled at the unwelcomed attention that would bring.

Keen eyes watched as vermin and strays cleared a wide berth for him and he wished that his two bumbling cohorts would do the same. What Lord Dragaunus saw in those two fools was beyond his comprehension. He could understand the protection that Siege had to offer, but the little shape-shifter? He huffed disgruntled.

With furrowed brows and deep thoughts eating away at him, he startled at the sudden wetness that greeted his old skin. He wiped at his face before realizing that many more tiny droplets were descending from the sky. The wizard took a few steps back, pressing himself into the nearest wall and under the eaves of a backdoor, bewildered at the sight before him.

He watched for a few beats as water fell a little harder, quickly pooling along the center divot running the length of the alleyway. He listened to the melodic song of the falling water as it drowned out the harsh, artificial sounds of the human world. Cautiously, he extended a wrinkled hand, the coolness greeting his boney fingers felt nice.

Rain, he suddenly realized.

The dark sorcerer turned his gaze skyward. He had read about the phenomenon long, long ago in an ancient tome, but had never dreamt of ever seeing it firsthand. Untold generations of Saurians had lived and died in their dimensional prison. Worldly experiences such as these could only be had through the readings of ancient texts. Once free of his ancestral prison he had come to know fresh air, open spaces, starry skies, and icy coldness on the avian planet. But not rain. That planet swirled in snow and falling pieces of ice.

The sudden shower dissipated as quickly as it had begun, leaving the old Saurian wondering how exactly the phenomenon functioned. The old textbook he had once read from had been left behind in dimensional limbo, for future generations. Few Saurians believed in Lord Dragaunus' pretty words of freedom, and even fewer would stake their lives in following him through the then theoretical Dimensional Gateway. Out of pure spite, the Saurian Overlord had decided against freeing the rest of his brethren from limbo after having conquered their ancestral enemy's icy home world.

A cat cautiously approached, inching slowly towards the warm glow of the overhead light and dry patch of alleyway. Wraith watched the animal intently, perfectly still. When the mangy creature was a mere foot away, the Saurian swiftly struck the ground with his staff. He unleashed a small pulse of energy which sent the animal flying. Unfortunately for the sorcerer, the stray easily landed gracefully on all fours before dashing out of sight.

Wraith groused, deciding to return to the Raptor. He had left to clear his mind, but seemed to only be filled with many more quandaries then he could possibly find answers to about the new world he found himself in.

~ * End * ~

* * *

A/N: It's been raining off and on for the past week and I'm freezing cold. And then I began to wonder what rain would be like to someone who's never experienced it before in their life. And then I challenged myself to write something that was less then a page.

NAILED IT!


	6. Two Sides of the Same Coin

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any part of the Mighty Ducks Animated Series, and thus am forced to continue writing fanfics =)

* * *

Hazel-green eyes searched the portly manager inquisitively before returning to the stack of papers held in creamy feathered hands. Mallory skimmed the contract presented to her once more, hoping that something would jump out at her. Knowing Phil, there was some sort of crazy clause hidden somewhere among its hundreds of pages. She would have to keep the contract and read it over thoroughly tonight.

"Isn't that the same sports magazine that had Wing in it like a month ago?" Nosedive bounced a small rubber ball off the wall again.

"Yup," Phil answered. "And don't worry about it, Mallory, babe. They contacted me."

A thin brow rose at that last disclaimer. So, it wasn't Phil's idea that was being presented on all these murdered trees. Good. That would mean she wouldn't have to suffer through some embarrassing endorsement deal or another. And seeing as it was the same sports magazine that had interviewed Wildwing some time ago, it appeared like she wasn't going to be endorsing anything. Her bill turned up into a soft smile. "Sure, I guess," she flipped through the pages one last time.

Phil smiled wistfully, quite pleased with himself. "Alright," he reached to take hold of the paperwork. "Let me go through this and make sure there isn't anything fishy in here."

Mallory handed the human the contract and request papers, watching him merrily exit the room. She might not like him for all his crazy money making schemes, but if there was anything that Phil was an expert at, it was understanding the legal jargon used in contacts and making numbers work for him. He could sniff shenanigans out like a bloodhound. And if there was anything that he disliked more than being handed a bad deal, it was letting someone else take advantage of his team.

"Where is that magazine?" she turned to face Nosedive.

"Somewhere in here," the blond responded without moving from his place. He was on the couch with his legs over the back rest, tossing a red ball up to the same spot on the wall a few feet behind the couch. He must be have been boarded out of his mind to be that still at this hour of the day.

Ignoring him, she proceeded to the small coffee table set in front of the large television in the corner of the recreation room. Shuffling through the small pile of magazines and newspapers that called the table home, she found the magazine in question. The cover was a photo of Wildwing during one of their recent games. He was in mid slide, reaching out and plucking a puck out of midair with a gloved hand.

"Do you know if Wildwing wants to keep this?" she asked, taking a seat in her favorite armchair.

"He's got his own copy," Nosedive informed, letting his head fall off the edge of the couch and eyeing her upside down. "I think he got the cover framed."

The young drake snickered at Mallory's surprised look. Wildwing went through great lengths to come off as humble and collected as possible to others, but Nosedive knew his brother better. "Don't tell him I told you, but Wing can be vain sometimes. Taking hours to preen those GORGEOUS feathers of his!" he laughed at his brother's expense.

"Must be tough having white plumage," she responded.

"Nah! His feathers aren't white-white, girly," Nosedive continued laughing. "They have a fine, dusty yellow-brown tint to them. He hates it because it always made him look dirty when he stood next to Mom. Mom's feathers were white! Just like snow," the teen sombered momentarily before resuming tossing the ball at the wall again.

Mallory shook her head smiling, not noticing the change in him. Flipping through the magazine, she found the interview with the younger drake and thoroughly enjoyed his kind words about the rest of them.

###

Duke pulled out his key card, swiping it and stepping out into the sweltering heat that was southern California, instantly regretting it. It didn't matter how long they had been there, they were never going to get used to the oven-like conditions of their new home. Why couldn't they have landed in Toronto or someplace like that? He would rather starve then spend another minute out here. Besides, why go out to get food when the food could come to him? An excellent idea, if he did say so himself!

He had nearly turned back to head inside when he caught sight of a lone figure sitting on the curb right outside the main doors of the sporting arena. "Mal?"

The younger duck glanced back at the sound of her name with a scowl on her face. Without uttering a word, she turned back around and stared off into the distance. She was angry. Anyone who knew her could tell with just a glance. But it wasn't just anger, something was bothering her.

Duke contemplated leaving her alone. He certainly didn't want to be the focal point of her ire once it was fully unleashed. But there was something in her quiet posture that caused his feet to walk up to her of their own accord. Treacherous feet, they'd regret it soon enough.

"Wha's up, kid?" he stood next to her, looking out across the empty parking lot. To his surprise, she remained silent.

A glance downward found the young redhead brooding in silence. She was dressed in jean shorts with a deep blue tank-top, topped off with a light brown knit sweater whose sleeves fell just below her elbows. Her "lazy day clothes" as she had mentioned many times before. Her head rested atop of folded arms which hugged her bare knees. Her piercing gaze distant and deep in thought.

Duke continued to bake for a moment under the intense afternoon sun. Whatever was on her mind, it appeared like she was going to keep it to herself. He waited a heartbeat before turning once more to return to the icy sanctuary that was their home.

"I hate humans," her voice was dangerously low.

He paused, looking down at her. "Wha'd Phil do?"

"Surprisingly, it wasn't him," she responded with a cynical chuckle, sending chills down the drake's back. She straightened up, bringing her hand up over her eyes and looking up at the cloudless blue sky. "Even more surprising, he probably would have prevented this whole mess had he known."

Now his curiosity was piqued. And even though he was beginning to molt under the long sleeve he was wearing, Duke found himself taking a seat next to her.

"I think I cost us a pretty good endorser," she shrugged her slender shoulders, voice flat and unapologetic. "Phil's gonna flip cartwheels that'll put an acrobat to shame when he finds out."

The older duck took a moment to think. "Ah," he recalled that she had left a few hours ago for an interview with a sports magazine. She had been pretty excited about it for the past week, taking her time in picking out an outfit to wear and even asking Nosedive for previous issues in order to prepare herself for questions that might come her way. So, what had gone wrong? "Wha'd they ask ta ruffle y're feath'rs, sweet'eart?"

Her eyes hardened, a deep frown furrowing her brows. "They changed their minds. They didn't want an interview."

"Okay..?"

She shuffled uncomfortably, her eyes on the ground and her toes wiggling in her boots. "They, um, they wanted to do a swimsuit photo shoot…"

Duke stared at her uncertain for a moment, processing the information. His eyes suddenly lit up as a sly smile spread across his chipped bill, a chuckle escaping him.

"This isn't funny!" she socked him in the shoulder.

He reeled back, clasping tightly onto his shoulder. She hadn't held back as he had expected her to. "Sweet'eart!" he tried his best to hold back his laughter, but it only made her angrier.

"UGGG!" She shot up to her feet utterly frustrated. "Why do I even bother!?" she glared down at the grey bird before stomping off in the direction of the shopping center across the street.

"Sweet'eart, I'm sorry!" Duke scrambled to his feet and caught up to her. She ignored him. He slipped in front of her, blocking her path and got what sounded like a growl out of her. "That was immatur' of me," he apologized once more, his smile all but gone. "I didn't mean no ha'm."

"Do you even know what you're apologizing for?"

A dumbfound look crossed his face. "Bein' insensitive." He had dealt with enough women to know that much about himself.

"At least you got that right," she crossed her arms. "Do you have any idea why that stupid photo shoot is so upsetting?"

At that, Duke remained silent. There was no quirky rebuttal or wise cracking joke. His dark eyes searching the young woman for a hint. They had all agreed to do some pretty stupid stuff for Phil in the past and they all got over the humiliation to some degree. It had become the norm for the fat human to present them with embarrassing endorsement deals and photo shoots. His mind raced to find a suitable answer, but none was forthcoming. He saw the patience leaving her and knew he only had a few seconds before she walked away from him. Rather than anger her any further, he shrugged his shoulders defeated.

Her eyes softened before a pained look settled on her features. "Of course you wouldn't," she rolled her eyes frustrated. She took a quick look around the empty lot and a deep breath. "You guys are never asked to do stupid shit like that," she began. "For some reason, just because you're guys, the humans seem to respect you more. Even Nosedive! But for us, because we're girls, they tend to want us to do some stupid pin-up shoot or another! It's annoying! I'm a militant duck not some underwear model! Yeah, I know I'm pretty good looking, even for human standards, which is pretty creepy, but that's not the point! Why can't they just treat us the same?!" She paused in her rant, her shoulders slumping in defeat. "It's totally unfair and I'm actually jealous," she bitterly admitted. "Great," the syllable was drawn out. "I'm jealous of Nosedive! Of all the ducks in the universe to be jealous of!"

Duke was stunned silent. He hadn't known that this was a recurring matter. Moreover, that it was a recurring matter that was bothering his two female teammates. "I… I didn't know," he stammered. "Wait, Phil _wouldn't_ do this?"

"I punched a hole in his office wall the first time he ever brought something like this up," she casually looked back at the sports arena behind her. "Told him that the next time he tried something like that, it'd be his skull. He's never even bothered to tell us how many times those kind of requests come in. He's a quick learner," she smiled devilishly. Now, if only she could get the rest of humanity to do the same.

Duke still didn't know what to say on the matter. He had noticed the double standard that the humans seemed to uphold and it confused him as much as it did the rest of his teammates. He'd been curious as to why the women on the Ice Team were skating around in little tops and form fitting pants while the guys wore windbreakers and sweat pants. Those guys looked like slobs compared to the girls. Why not have them all wear a similar uniform? He understood the sex appeal of it all and that it was a gimmick, but why bother if only the girls had to dress up? Besides, wasn't everyone there to watch them play hockey? He'd asked Phil once, but the human had brushed him off stating that it was just the way things were. Duke eventually chucked it up to it being one of those things about humans that he would never understand.

Mallory's deep sigh brought him back from his thoughts. "Sorry," she began rather embarrassed, her hand running through short red hair. "I didn't mean to dump all that on you."

"No problem."

The two stood silent, neither knowing what to say in the awkward silence that ensued.

Mallory smiled softly. "Thanks for listening. And, umm, sorry for punching you."

Duke chuckled at her lightening mood. "I already said it ain't a problem, sweet'eart. An', if ya ev'r need an ear for y're woes, I'm 'ere," he offered.

Her smile grew bolder. "Thanks," she felt much better. Placing her hands on her hips she glanced back at the entrance of the Pond before returning her attention to the drake at her side. She snickered wickedly. "So, now that we're being honest here. You got any 'woes' you'd like to come clean with, _Glen_?"

Duke's brow rose suspiciously before a matching, devilish grin graced his chipped bill. "Ain't lettin' that one go, are ya, sweet'eart?"

"We just had a heart to heart here and you still can't tell me your real name?" she eyed him. She knew that Duke L'Orange wasn't his real name. She'd known that since well before meeting the crooked grey bird.

Duke chuckled. She'd nearly bumped into him when he had stopped suddenly on their way back into the locker room after a game a few months back. Some fan had called out the name, causing him to suddenly stop and look up. The human, though, had been calling out to a friend and obviously not him. But that was enough for the sharp redhead to easily put two and two together. Since then, she hadn't stopped bugging him about it. "How 'bout I take ya out to lunch an' we call it a day?" Duke gestured for her to follow him across the street.

Mallory caught up to him, keeping in stride. "Can I at least get a hint?"

"Careful, sweet'eart. I might just sign ya up fo' a beauty pageant," Duke snidely retorted. He easily sidestepped her swing and trotted on ahead, Mallory in close pursuit.

~ * End * ~

* * *

A/N:2000+ words! I'm so proud of myself!

This wasn't the chapter I wanted to upload, but inspiration finally hit and after having this sit on the laptop for months, it finally got an end! HURRAY!


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any part of the Mighty Ducks Animated Series.

* * *

Wildwing turned at the sound of the door opening and was greeted by a rather miserable looking duckling. The newest acquisition to the team stood in the doorway with one of those colorfully striped blankets Phil had given them upon arrival wrapped around herself, bleary eyes wandering across the recreation room. Her gaze finally landed on him and she took a tentative step into the room.

"Duke?" she barely peeped.

"Not in his room?" he offered.

The girl shook her head as she approached the long couch stretched out in front of the television. She didn't bother to look up to see what he was watching as she took hold of one of the throw pillows, propping it up against the drake's side, and snuggled into it.

Wildwing sat up surprised as the girl made herself comfortable at his side and relaxed once she was finally settled. He eyed the top of her head briefly before smiling to himself, a vision of his sick little brother coming to mind. "Feeling better?" he asked patting her head gingerly.

Audrey nodded softly. Whatever it was that made them sick after first arriving on Earth didn't seem to be contagious among them and Wildwing thanked the heavens that it wasn't something that humans could pick up either.

Audrey remained motionless at the drake's side, her breathing soft and even. For a moment, Wildwing believed she had fallen asleep on him until her quiet voice startled him. "Is this a sport?"

"Yup," he supplied. He couldn't recall what it was called, but it was akin to Mallory's hand-to-hand combat training. "It's a form of self-defense. Mallory is actually attending classes to learn Earth's version of it. She's really good at it."

The announcer's voice filled the room, giving the audience a play by play of the event. A long stretch of silence between the pair followed and Wildwing's mind recalled something. "Actually, you're pretty good, yourself," he complemented. "Did Duke teach you to move like that?"

"I'm not good at all," she huffed, a hint of amusement in her voice. "I can't hold my own at all, I'm tiny, and have no weight to throw around."

"You took down Nosedive and kept Mallory and me on our toes. You're good," he pointed out recalling their first encounter with the girl.

Audrey chuckled lightly. "No. I startled you and took advantage of it. But once you got over your initial shock, you were able to take me down easily." She paused, shuffling under the blanket and pulling out one of her daggers for him to see. "You didn't expect a little duckling to be throwing knives at you. More importantly, you hesitated to fighting back. I'm guessing you thought it was wrong to hit a little kid, and I totally took advantage of that hesitation."

Wildwing stared at the sharp object in the girl's hand. It was unsettling knowing that she carried those things around on her, but he was even more unnerved knowing the deadly accuracy she could use them with. "Yeah…" he thought back to the little scuffle on the Raptor. He recalled feeling guilty when he finally did counter her attacks. Actually, he still felt bad for doing that. Who could ever feel good about beating up a little kid!? "You still gave Mallory and Nosedive a good run around," he muttered thoughtfully.

"Nope," she giggled once more. "I attacked them from behind, surprising them. Once I was out in the open, the angry hen didn't break a sweat to put me in my place. She doesn't mess around," she rubbed her shoulder, thinking back to how roughly she had been thrown by Mallory back then.

Wildwing looked down at the chocolate hair cradled into his side, realization settling in. Grin was right. She was manipulative. He couldn't quite decide whether it was a good or bad thing that she knew it and used that deceitfulness to her advantage.

The door to the recreation room opened once more and Wildwing hung his head over the back of the seat to see who had joined them. His little brother came rushing straight towards the couch with a large bowl of popcorn in one hand and a soda in the other.

"Dude!" Nosedive hopped over the backside of the couch, landing next to his brother. "You replacing me or something?" he pointed at Audrey.

"Yup," Wildwing didn't miss a beat. "She's cutter and way quitter," he teased, snickering at his brother's pouty face.

"Please! You can't ever replace the awesomeness that is the Great Divester!" the blond took in a handful of popcorn, quickly recovering from feigned hurt.

"I can try," Wildwing fished the soda out of his brother's hand.

"Harsh," Audrey added, a wide grin on her face.

Nosedive reached over, mussing the girl's hair. "I'm not worried, Ducky. He'll eventually forget you and come crawling back to me. I'm just too adorable to not want as a baby bro."

The three continued their playful banter before finally settling in as the show returned from commercials.

~ * End * ~

* * *

A/N: I've no idea what I'm doing anymore. But I think that's okay.

Also, for any of you who are curious, Audrey is my OC whose story you can read in _The Setup_.


	8. Multiverse

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any part of the Mighty Ducks Animated Series.

* * *

"You could at least pretend to help," Mallory's voice held an edge.

"There's, like, five other ducks trying to help," Nosedive snorted while shrugging her off, his eyes remaining fixed to the stars above.

The group had decided to drive out to the city of Phoenix for their first away game. Phil wanted desperately to fly out and back, but the ducks wanted to take their time and get to know this planet that was now their home. The trip had been uneventful and went accordingly. Unfortunately, the same could not be said about the trip back home. The Migrator's engine had failed about an hour ago and the group was trying to figure out what had happened. And while the rest of the team busied themselves around the battle van's engine, Nosedive decided to explore the terrain before settling down and turn his attention to the heavens.

"Utterly useless," Mallory tisked angrily, crossing her arms and turning back towards the Migrator. "No wonder Canard wanted to leave you behind."

"He didn't want me getting hurt," Nosedive shot back.

"Right," Mallory rolled her eyes, brushing him off.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Nosedive begun sarcastically. "What would _I_ know about Canard anyways? I mean, I only grew up with the guy! You knew him for what? A few months?"

"Alright you two," Wildwing intervened before a fight broke out. When he had finally accepted the role of captain he hadn't imagined that the task would also include playing peacekeeper between his teammates. How Canard had managed to get all these different, and sometimes butting, personalities to work together was beyond him. But if Canard could do it, he was confident he could as well.

"Lay off the kid, sweet'eart," Duke approached, tucking his hands into the pockets of his pants and coming to a stand next to Wildwing. "I don't suppose ya know anythin' 'bout fixin' engines, do ya kid?" he turned his attention to the youngest duck in the group.

Nosedive shook his head, not quite sure what the grey drake was trying to get at. "Nope," he readily agreed.

"See, he wouldn't 'ave been much help back there," Duke smiled broadly at the redhead.

Mallory huffed, but refrained herself from further arguing.

Nosedive frowned at the hen. How she managed to ruffle his feathers so easily all the time was beyond him. "Whatever," he ignored her. He wasn't about to go around starting fights that would put his brother in an awkward position. Instead he returned to looking up at the night sky.

"You guy always fight like that?" Phil quibbled.

"No, Phil. We don't," Wildwing sighed heavily, running a hand down his tired face. The white drake quickly retreated from the human before he could ask anything else. He approached his brother, a bit worried. He was solemn and much too quiet for his usual self. "What's up?" he questioned.

"They're the same," Nosedive barely whispered.

"What is?" Wildwing's voice was laced with concern.

Nosedive simply pointed up at the sky, his gaze never turning away. "They're the same constellations. Well, most of them are anyways," he continued to speak softly. It wasn't like he had grown up watching his home world's night sky. Far from it. The city he'd grown up in was much too bright to be able to see all but a handful of stars. Nosedive had only gotten acquainted with Puckworld's night sky during his time in the Saurian work camps, curled up next to his brother and others who had been enslaved, trying desperately to keep warm.

The other ducks turned to look up at the night sky. A few sharp breathes were heard as familiar star formations were recognized overhead.

"But we ain't nowhere near Puckworld, are we?" Duke gradually acknowledged a few of the constellations, concern creeping into his voice.

"Well, technically speaking, we still are on Puckworld," Tanya pointed out.

"Now you've really lost me, sweet'eart," Duke looked over at the blonde engineer.

"Well, we, um, traveled from one dimension to another, b-b-but theoretically, we're still in the same place," Tanya began to explain. The muddled looks from her teammates caused her to pause briefly. "Okay, ah, think of it like this instead: If you have a notebook and you write really, really hard on the, um, page, you can see what you wrote on the following page, a-a-and the page under that, and the page under that, a-a-and so on. Think of each of those pages as being a, um, plane. Each plane is the same, but slightly different than the one before it."

A long silence stretched between them, each thinking deeply on what Tanya had tried to explain to them in layman's terms.

"I guess that kinnda makes sense," Wildwing turned to look up at the night sky. He wasn't exactly sure what she was saying, but the general gist of the idea was understood.

"If it's all the same, how come we're so different?" Mallory questioned, pointing between herself and Phil.

Tanya shrugged. "I wouldn't know. I didn't study astrophysics or theories of multiple plane universes," she answered plainly. Mallory's questioning look caused the engineer to continue. "My friend was studying that. I kinnda, you know, picked up whatever she talked to me about. And that's pretty much how she, um, well, how she explained it to me."

"So, if this is an alternate universe of Puckworld, does that mean that there's a human version of me here?" Nosedive questioned.

"Great Mother, I hope not!" Mallory was unhappy with that thought.

"Maybe," Tanya supplied. "I mean, these two worlds do share many s-s-similarities. Our technology is basically the same, just executed differently. Both worlds are mostly covered in water and have a single, desolate moon. Some of the land masses look the same, and some cities even have the same names as the ones back home! Why wouldn't there be a version of us here?"

"That's just creepy," Grin finally voiced his opinion on the matter.

"Dude, you wouldn't want to find your human version, Grinster?" Nosedive smiled excitedly about the idea of having a human counterpart of himself.

"No," Grin shuddered at the though. "I like being an individual."

Tanya giggled at the statement. "Your human counterpart wouldn't be exactly the same, Grin. The circumstances and e-e-experiences you've had would be different from your counterpart's."

"So, does that mean there could there be a version of me on your world? A duck Phil?" Phil tepidly asked. Tanya nodded. "Weird. When I think of alternate universe I usually think of another world with people in it."

"There could be millions of human inhabited alternate universes," Tanya brought her hand under her bill to think about it. "There could also be millions of other worlds full of ducks. For all we know, one of Nosedive's alternate universe counterparts could be a snarky girl with a reclusive, sociopathic brother! There might even be a universe where the Saurians aren't evil!"

"Whoa, now y're startin' ta talk crazy, sweet'eart," Duke gestured for her to calm down.

"It's just a possibility," Tanya explained.

"That's so cool!" Nosedive brightened up. "We should go out and look for our human counterparts!"

Wildwing chuckled, mussing his brother's hair. "Sounds like fun, baby bro. But first we need to fix the Migrator and get back to the Pond." He was glad to see that his little brother was alright after all.

The group turned their attention to the white battle van. As much as they were enjoying the coolness of the desert night, they needed to fix their vehicle and return to Anaheim.

~ * End * ~

* * *

A/N: As a late disclaimer, I am not a scientist in **ANY** way. This was just the best and easiest way that I was able to explain what little I understand of multiple/ alternate/ parallel universes.

And thanks for all the new reviews. I do read (and reread &amp; reread &amp; reread, etc.) them all. They brighten my day every time I see a new one in my inbox. You lovely readers are very encouraging and are what keep me going!


	9. Snow Day

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any part of the Mighty Ducks Animated Series.

* * *

Loud buzzing shocked Phil out of his peaceful slumber. His hand instantly reached out to silence whatever was making that god awful noise. His hand fumbling as it awkwardly snaked its way across the smooth surface of the nightstand next to the bed. His fingers finally wrapped around the handle of the telephone, lifting it off the base and bringing the receiver to the side of his head. "Hello?" he mumbled groggily.

"Good morning, Mr. Palmfeather. This is your wakeup call from the front desk."

The fog slowly lifted from his mind and he realized he wasn't at home. "Oh. Yeah. Thanks," he looked around the modest hotel room.

"Will there be anything else that you need?" the cheery voice on the other end asked.

"No, thanks," he ran a hand over his face, trying to rid the sleep out of his mind. "Actually, are you still serving breakfast?"

"No, sir. But the kitchen will be open for lunch in about an hour."

"Nice. Thanks."

"Thank you for choosing to stay with us."

He listened momentarily as the line went dead before hanging up himself. He looked around the little room once more before chuckling sarcastically. He wished he would have chosen where to spend the night. Had it been left up to him, it certainly wouldn't have been this little rickety place out in the middle of nowhere. No, this place was chosen by his hockey team, whom he assumed where already out and about.

He shuddered at the cold that enveloped him as the covers were thrown back. Stretching lazily, he made his way to the window and drew the curtains back. The morning sun shone brilliantly, reflecting intensely off the snow covered world outside. Sure enough, he quickly picked out the alien ducks enjoying themselves in the small snow-covered field behind the hotel.

When he had first met them, one of them had mentioned that Earth was much like their home world, but with warmer and much nicer weather. And then the low pressure system passed, revealing southern California's true climate. The intense heat that followed had the aliens scurrying as quickly as they could back into the sports arena or any other building that promised air conditioning. They could barely stand the heat and were boggled by how Phil could even wear a business suit outdoors. Even now, over two years later, they still didn't like to spend much time outdoors when in Anaheim.

But this was a road trip that they had looked forward to since last year. They had begged the scheduling department at the NHL to allot them a week between games on their road games between Calgary and Edmonton, in the middle of January no less. The League obliged, with the condition that they were to play back-to-back games before and after the weeklong absence. The ducks readily agreed, and since the two cities were so close to one another, they had scheduled themselves a mini-vacation in a little town somewhere in between.

Phil watched as Mallory raced around the field, Audrey and Wildwing on her heels while Nosedive trailed behind with an arm full of snowballs. As the three closed in on Mallory, the redhead suddenly turned. In a flurry of snow and swirling fabric, Wildwing went flying over the smaller duck and landed on his back in the deep snow, dumbfounded.

Phil cringed. There was no doubt in his mind that she could take care of herself, but it still surprised him that she was able to take down someone more than twice her weight with such ease. His mind wandered, racing through all of the games they'd played. They never initiated fights on the ice and always skated away from anyone on the other team trying to draw them into one. Weird. They could all clearly handle themselves, but refused to fight on the ice.

Another boisterous round of laughter caught Phil's attention. Wildwing was kneeling, gathering snow in his hands as Mallory pointed at Audrey, doubling over in laughter. Audrey sat on the ground, wiping the snow from her face, surprised. Another snowball battered the young duck as she brought her hands up to protect her head from Wildwing's assault. Wildwing then suddenly turned on Mallory, sending a snowball straight to the side of her head, causing her to tumble to the ground before turning on his brother.

Phil watched the ducks scurry as the four-way snowball fight broke out and found himself smiling as he watched the battle expand, bringing in the other members of the team. The group was elated to finally be in the snow, there was no doubt in his mind about that.

~ * End * ~

* * *

A/N: I was trying to channel Phil and get a view of his non-money scheming side.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any part of the Mighty Ducks Animated Series.

* * *

"Do we have to?"

Phil's eyes landed on the alien at his side. Wildwing wasn't one to whine or complain about anything. For the most part, he was cool and collected, regardless of the situation. But for some reason, this was really not something he was willing to put up with. Scratch that. He plain out didn't want to do it. Obligation was the only thing keeping him there.

Phil's attention returned to the rink before them as players continued their drills. It had taken him a little over five months to get them to agree to hire a coach after their first Stanley Cup loss the previous year. The ducks were all excellent players, but they still had trouble reading and understanding the human players on the opposing team. If they could learn to think and react the way people did, Phil was certain they could clench the Stanley Cup this upcoming year. And after the Forking Incident he had decided that they needed at least another six to ten players on the team. Best of all, if the human side of the team learned to play like the ducks, he'd have an unstoppable team on his hands!

So now they stood, a few weeks after Nosedive's unfortunate encounter with a vicious fork, watching for potential players.

"Common, bubala," Phil began, "we can use the extra players for times when you guys get sick or actually do get injured while fighting Dragaunus."

"Even when we fight Dragaunus, we don't get seriously injured. And no one has gotten sick-" Wildwing caught himself short. But it was too late. He looked down at the chunky manager as Phil's eyebrow rose.

"Did you forget about Mallory?" the human began as the duck cursed under his breathe. "She played while sick! It cost us the game. And don't try to tell me it was nothing. She made Tanya's sniffling look like a ray of sunshine in Lollipop Land."

Wildwing's shoulders slumped in defeat. The only way to appease Phil was to pick at least six other players to join the club. He was reluctant, seeing as how the league had allowed them to play with only the six of them for so long. It was a special condition extended to a special case. No one had believed Phillip P. Palmfeather when he said he had a team of only six players who could play for hours on end. But as it turned out, the ducks' stamina was astonishing. They didn't even break a sweat during the typically three hour long game. Heck, they didn't really need breaks in between periods either. The only reason they weren't on the ice between periods was because it was being cleaned.

"He looks promising," Phil pointed the pen in his hand to one of the athletes.

"He second guesses himself," Audrey's voice startled the chubby man.

"OH! GEEZ! You're going to give me a heart attack, kid!" Phil jumped back, nearly dropping the clipboard in his hands.

Audrey smiled wistfully at him before returning her attention to the men on the ice. "I think that one is a better pick," she put in her two cents.

Drake and human followed the girl's gaze, landing on the player in question. He was at least a head shorter than the others around him. Phil guessed that the guy probably didn't even come close to the average two hundred pounds that most hockey players weighted. He shuffled through the papers on his clipboard until he found the man's information. His eyes quickly reading the statistics, his suspicions confirmed.

"Sorry kid, but it'd be murder to put Paul on the team. I'm sure even you could roughen him up without even trying."

The girl looked up at the human confused.

"Fighting between players is one of the selling points of hockey on this world," Wildwing informed. He watched as the information sunk in. As expected, Audrey shook her head disappointedly. While it was a widely accepted practice for humans, it was a horrible taboo for ducks.

"Either way," Audrey sat on the bench, folding her legs under her, "if you're going to choose, get him. He's calculating and very attentive. He looks confident, but not pompous."

"I think I know what I'm doing here," Phil scribbled a large X across Paul's statistical sheet.

"Really?" Audrey perked up, cocking her head to the side. "I heard you let your previous team get away."

"They were relocated to Piscataway! It was out of my hands."

"Or they all walked out on you to move to a place where they thought they'd have a better chance at winning a championship," the girl sniggered. Before the earthling could respond, she continued, "I read the old newspapers in your office. You really should clean it out. Someone like Duke would have a field day in there."

"I thought you said they were taken away from you," Wildwing said, trying to think back to the first time they had met Phil.

Phil glared at the girl before looking up at the team captain. "Taken away, walked out, it's all the same, babe! Bottom line, they weren't here when you guys arrived!"

Wildwing stood in shocked silence. He couldn't believe this. Actually, yes. Yes he could. None of them had ever questioned the manager any further as to why his previous team had left, they were all just too concerned with being able to play hockey themselves. The drake then turned his attention to the girl on the bench. "You sure about this?" he questioned.

"Yup," her eyes remained fixed on the human in question.

Wildwing skated out onto the ice and came to a halt next to their coach. They discussed Paul for a moment and the coach nodded. The large bird then made his way to the net as the coach called the man over. The coach gave Paul simple instructions before skating back, ordering the others to clear the ice. Paul skated towards center ice, setting a puck up at the center faceoff dot before looking down the length of stadium at the netminder. He waited for Wildwing to finish setting himself up just above the blue paint before receiving a nod to begin.

Paul circled the far circles a few more times, gazing up at the goaltender before finally deciding to begin.

Paul made his way to center ice, picking up speed and the puck as he began his attack. He glided left before swinging back towards center ice, Wildwing following his moves as he retreated back towards the net. The man faked a few shots, but Wildwing didn't bit. In the end, Paul snapped the disk low, aiming for the five-hole. Needless to say, it didn't work. Widlwing read his moves clearly, making the save with the greatest of ease.

"You were saying?" Phil crossed his arms, snickering at the young duck beside him.

"They're just testing each other out," Audrey responded, her eyes fixed on the human as he circled back to center ice with another puck. "Just watch."

This time, Paul burst into a full-fledge sprint, picking up the puck and barreling down the center of the ice. Not only did his sudden speed surprise the goalie, but his puck handling was impressive. He maneuvered the black disk with a practiced ease that kept the netminder guessing which way he would ultimately head. As he reached the crease, he slid right, snapping the puck up. Wildwing pushed to his left, reaching up just in time to feel the puck bounce off the tip of his glove. A split second later, he heard the tell-tale sign of the disk hitting the crossbar behind him. Out of instinct, he looked back into the net and was glad to see the puck hadn't made it in.

"You gotta be quicker than that," Wildwing teased good naturedly as he watched the man circle around disappointed. That was actually a pretty good shot and he found that his foul mood had all but disappeared.

Paul glanced at Wildwing, his expression unreadable. Nonetheless, he nodded before taking off to the other end of the ice, setting up for his final run.

Phil had inched his way closer to the short board, his breath held as he watched Paul faceoff against Wildwing. He had to admit, that was some impressive stick handling.

"Pretty good, isn't he?" Audrey commented.

Phil tensed, refusing to look back at the young girl. He didn't have to admit anything out loud.

The pair's attention returned to the rink as Paul began his final flight down the length of the ice. Again, he opted for a direct attack down the middle. Wildwing moved to the top of the crease, greeting the man head-on, slowly retreating into the net as the human advanced.

Suddenly, Paul came to an almost complete stop at the top of the faceoff circles. He slowly glided forward, the netminder tracking his painfully slow advance. Paul alternated between rapid and almost clumsy looking puck handling, faking a few shots as he inched closer. The goaltender inched back and forth with the puck, but refused to commit to any final move until Paul set up for a quick snap shot just as he entered the goal crease. From that angle, he would have to try for something low. Wildwing came down on his knees, efficiently closing any available gap down below and stretched forward. The puck was a mere inch away from him and he tried to poke the disk out of the human's control. Unfortunately for him, Paul quickly fished the puck back and darted to the goaltender's left. The drake toppled forward, losing his balance. With the netminder now down on the ice, Paul easily elevated the puck over his burly body and scored in the wide open net.

Audrey and Phil watched from the bench as the puck entered the net. It was almost comical to watch as the black disk was easily flicked in with one of the best goalies in the league just lying flat on his stomach.

Wildwing didn't need to look back to know that the puck had made it past him, the cheering and celebration from the other players was enough of a confirmation. The drake got to his feet, retrieving the puck and sent it sailing down the length of the ice. He made his way back to the bench, his mind analyzing that last faceoff run.

"He's a problem solver," Wildwing confirmed.

Audrey nodded. "Told you," she gloated, the smile on her small bill growing wide.

"A lucky shot," Phil shrugged.

"He's a candidate," the white drake informed. "I want to see him skate with Dive. I get a feeling those two could be a handful."

Phil muttered, taking the stats sheet and scribbling something on the upper portion of it.

"You're the one who wanted the extra players. I'm just obliging," Wildwing reminded a playful tone to his voice.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't get too full of yourselves," the manager didn't look happy at all.

Wildwing chuckled. Phil was an excellent manager, but it looked like the human wasn't particularly good at recognizing subtle talent.

~ * End * ~

* * *

A/N:The idea came some time ago while watching a Ducks game that ended in a shoot-out victory for the Predators. It was a Predator's player, Smith, who scored on goaltender Anderson while moving at a turtle's pace and furiously handling the puck: you tube DOT Com /watch?v=8KVa0wiI8lE


	11. Mr Sprinkles

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any part of the Mighty Ducks Animated Series. Nope, nope, nope.

* * *

"Dude, what's taking so long?" Nosedive walked into his brother's room. That movie wasn't going to wait for them.

Wildwing snapped to attention at his brother's sudden appearance. "I'll be there in a bit! Just go wait upstairs," his voice bordered on annoyance and urgency.

Nosedive watched as his brother went down on hands and knees, pulling magazines and newspaper clippings out from under the sofa in the far corner. His frantic search yielded nothing more than dust bunnies and a wrapper that was quickly deposited into a waste bin.

"Need some help there?" the young blond hopped onto the couch merrily and smiled down at his brother.

"No! Now get out!" Wildwing demanded, flicking his brother's bill before moving towards the boxes under the foosball table.

"DUDE!" Nosedive cried. "Why are you angry at me!? I haven't done anything! Yet."

"I'm not angry," Wildwing continued hastily searching the boxes. "I just need you out of my room."

"Why?"

"For the love of-" Wildwing stopped, frustrated and closing his eyes tightly. "Can you please just wait outside?!"

Nosedive frowned. His brother was in one of those high strung moods. "Fine! I'll just sit here and not do anything, man." He flopped onto the sofa, crossing his arms and sinking down as far as he could. He remained motionless as his brother glared at him.

Wildwing was about to protest, but held his tongue. Instead, he returned to his searching.

Nosedive quickly grew impatient as he continued to watch his brother. It started with a simple twitching of his foot and quickly grew into the need to do something. And since his brother had explicitly expressed that he didn't need his help, the younger brother reached down to pick up the binder next to the stack of newspapers on the floor.

He flipped through it and smirked. It seemed as older brother was making a scrapbook of everything he could find about them. Interviews, reviews, and pictures in magazines and newspapers chronologically filled the pages. "Ya gonna show this to your kids someday, or something?" he teased, trying to lighten the mood.

Wildwing looked up at him crossly, clearly still upset. His nearly white face suddenly dropped, eyes peeling back and beak opening agape as he gasped.

"Whoa," Nosedive closed the scrapbook. "Was I not supposed to find this?"

Wildwing's eyes darted away briefly. He suddenly stood, dusting himself off and reaching for his jacket on the chair next to him. "I'm ready now. Let's go," he forced a smile as he made his way towards the door.

Nosedive didn't budge. Instead, he eyed his brother suspiciously before looking down at the scrapbook again. "Bro, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Widlwing's voice nearly cracked in an immediate response.

Yup. Something was definitely wrong. But it couldn't have been the scrapbook. It was the last thing that Wildwing had pulled out from under the sofa. He must have seen it. "There's nothing 'dirty' in here, is there?" Nosedive dropped the book to the floor.

"What?" the older brother's features twisted confused. "NO! Now let's go!" What was wrong with his little brother!?

"Not until you tell me why you'r-" Nosedive caught something move on his shoulder out of the corner of his eye. He froze once his mind registered the many legged creature as a spider. But it wasn't any ordinary spider. It was a huge mutant creature with thick, hairy legs slowly moving forward.

"WHHAAAAAA!" Nosedive shrieked, jumping to his feet and swatting frantically at his upper arm. The abomination of a spider hit the floor, landing on its back, but quickly righted itself and gave chase after the blond duck. Nosedive fumbled backwards in his panicked state, tripping and falling. "NOOOOO!" he hollered terrified while desperately crawling away.

"I got'im!" Wildwing declared swooping down and taking hold of the spider. He struggled momentarily as the insect tried to escape his grip. Wildwing raced to the other end of his room, dropping the spider in a terrarium that the younger brother hadn't noticed before. The spider moved to the end of the glass enclosure, trying to work its way back towards the yellow duck as Wildwing placed the cover on the terrarium.

"KILL IT!" Nosedive demanded.

"What? No! I'm not killing Mr. Sprinkles."

"Mr... Sprinkles..?" the blond repeated flabbergasted, his heart still pounding.

"I just bought him yesterday. He's actually really chill when-"

"You bought him?"

"Yeah."

Nosedive reminded silent. He watched from a safe distance as the creepy bug tested the cover in an attempt to escape. No doubt it was out to devour his soul. "Why would you buy something like that- that freak of nature!?" he demanded finally getting up off the floor.

"He's not a freak, he's a tarantula," Wildwing informed him. "A rather small one."

"WHY!?" Nosedive emphasized.

"I think he's cute."

"Bro, 'cute' is a puppy."

Widlwing rolled his eyes. "Well, I got a tarantula. And he's living in my room." He made doubly sure that the cover wouldn't come off this time.

Silence reigned over the two before the younger sibling spoke again. "So, does that mean I can get that pony I've wanted?"

"Nope." Wildwing took his baby brother by the shoulder and finally lead him out of his room.

"Oh, so, you can get some psychotic killer bug but I can't have a pony? That's no fair!"

"You're so right, baby bro. The world is horribly unfair," Wildwing stated as the door closed behind them. If they didn't hurry, they'd miss their movie.

~ * End * ~

* * *

A/N: This started out as a joke in chatroom and snowballed into having a life of it's own. I'm personally terrified of spiders, but it seems like Wildwing likes them. What a freak.

Anyways, a special thanks to all the lovelies that helped shape this short! I LOVE YOU ALL!


	12. Doctor's Diagnosis

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any part of the Mighty Ducks Animated Series. Nope, nope, nope.

* * *

Doctor Katherine Lowes glared intensely at the fat man before her. If looks could kill, Phillip P. Palmfeather would have been buried and forgotten long ago. But as it turned out, he was alive and very much well. So well, in fact, that he had called her back to work at the Arrowhead Pond.

The invitation had initially been well received. As much as she enjoyed not working, she couldn't continue living off her savings for much longer.

So she found herself in her old office, her eyes dancing over the faces of the new athletes under her professional care. She had thought it was some joke at first, one of Phil's money-grabbing schemes, but the longer she stared, the more she realized those weren't costumes.

"Okay," she finally relented, still trying to wrap her mind around the situation. "Aliens. Alien, humanoid, ducks who happen to _love_ playing hockey and just happened to land a block away from a teamless hockey arena. How serendipitous."

Phil nodded. "You got it, babe."

"I think I need a stronger drink," she muttered under her breath.

"So, you up to the challenge, Doc?"

Katherine looked at the aliens once more. A pair were watching her intently while the rest occupied themselves with the anatomical cross section displays and posters on the wall. "Okay," she agreed as she tucked her hands into her white doctor's coat, ready for her challenge. "How hard could it be?"

"Great! I'll leave you guys in the care of Dr. Lowes!" Phil handed the physician a small stack of papers. "I already got them started on the paperwork. Basic info and stuff," he smiled sweetly at the doctor as he headed for the door.

The woman nodded, taking the papers and skimming the first packet as the tell-tale click of the door signaled Phil's departure. "Alright. First up is Grin? Seriously? That's a name?" She looked up surprised before shuffling through the other packets and finding even stranger names. "These can't seriously be names."

"What's wrong with our names?" the yellow duck with the patch on his beak asked, his hands planting on his hips rather offended.

"Grandma named me," the largest one stepped forward. "She wanted my life to be full of happiness."

Dr. Lowes looked confounded. 'Irony' was the only word racing through her mind as she gave the serious duck another look over. "Alright," she elected to move on before offending them any further. "Date of birth is 11th Prima, I think that's a '3', so 3 klos 5742?"

The large drake nodded.

Dr. Lowes brought a hand up, rubbing the bridge of her nose. Of course this wasn't going to be easy, why had she expected otherwise?

"Alright, so we're gonna have to translate the date. We can do that later. Fine." She pulled a pen from the bun of hair at the back of her head. "How old would that make you?" she tried a different approach.

"Fifteen sote."

"A 'sote' is a year?" she ventured.

"It's, ahh, a cycle around our star, if that's what you mean," the blond with the turnip hair intervened, a solitary finger mimicking a circle. "Guess it should have been obvious that time is kept differently," she giggled nervously to herself before turning her attention back to the skeleton hanging on its stand.

Well, that was going to be a problem. The League required all its athletes to be at least eighteen years of age. She gave a cocky smirk, pushing the matter aside. Oh, well. That was going to be a problem for Phil.

The doctor returned to the paper in hand. Weight and height were also in units she had no comprehension of. But that was alright! She had a scale and measuring tape! She was totally prepared for at least this part! She prided herself in being a professional, after all.

Dr. Lowes gestured for the large, humanoid duck to follow, pointing at the scale set against the back wall. Her reassuring smile disappeared when the scale broke in two under the massive creature.

"Oops," Grin looked down worriedly.

"Ahh... we'll fix that," the white duck seemed embarrassed for his friend.

Dr. Lowes took in a deep breathe. She was not prepared for this. She was woefully under prepared for dealing with aliens and was starting to lose her composure.

"Alright," she decided on starting over again. "Blood work. We can take some blood and then we can come back to all this later."

"A little high strung, sweet'eart?" the grey pirate teased.

Dr. Lowes glared at the grey, smirking duck. No one cat-called her without getting away with less than a few dozen bruises. But she decided against it. These were rather large aliens and she had no idea what they were capable of. Instead, she shuffled through a few drawers looking for her medical supplies. Once she had everything in order, she glanced up at the group. "Alright. Ahh, can you come here, please? You're name?"

"Mallory," the redhead spoke confidently.

"That's a lovely name," the doctor commented with a warm smile, retrieving the duck's packet of paperwork. At least it was a name she'd remember.

Dr. Lowes reached out, taking hold of Mallory's arm and paused. It was completely covered in feathers. "Umm..." She timidly poked at the inside of the bird-woman's elbow with a gloved finger, not sure on what to do. She could feel the underlying muscles and tendons beneath, but they weren't in the right place. The doctor quickly abandoned her equipment on the closest countertop and took a firm grip on the arm, startling Mallory. She poked and prodded as she went down the limb, trying to make out the structures underneath.

Doctor Katherine Lowes suddenly released the arm once she got to the wrist. It felt even more wrong than the rest of the arm had. Mallory worriedly inspected her own hand to see what had startled the doctor as the white duck joined her, also looking Mallory's hand over. It was then that Dr. Lowes realized that the duck was missing a digit. A quick scan around the room revealed that they were all missing a finger on each hand.

"Oh shit…" she gasped, bringing a hand up to her cover her mouth.

"What's wrong?" the white duck questioned worriedly.

"It's all wrong," Dr. Lowes answered with a low whisper. She approached the next closest bird, the yellow one with the patch on his bill, and gestured to look at his hand. With some trepidation and a nod from the white one, he held his hand out to her.

The doctor made a mental note that the white duck was probably the leader of the group. Cataloguing the information aside, she removed the yellow duck's glove. Once again, she poked and prodded the joint and hand. Aside from the missing finger, there were definitely missing structures and some she wasn't familiar with.

"Give it to me straight, doc. Am I gonna die?" he teased.

"Dive!" the white one chided.

The doctor glanced up, her face scrunching up angrily at his teasing. "Dammit all!" she finally lost her cool, sending the blond back a few steps. "I'm a goddamned doctor! Not some veterinarian!" She took the paperwork from the counter, crumpling it into a tiny ball and slamming it into the nearest trash can. "This isn't in my job description! If Phil wants you physically cleared for play, he can get you checked out at Roswell!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" the grey duck with the streaked tuff questioned.

"Beats me," the yellow one responded as he put his glove back on.

"It means I don't deal with aliens and especially not animals!" Katherine snarked back, making sure she was clearly understood.

"Well, that's rude," Mallory crossed her arms defensively.

"Tough cookies, Red," Dr. Lowes headed for the door. "I need a pay raise if he thinks I'm adding all this extra work to my job!"

"I think I like this one," the shorter grey bird chuckled.

The woman was about to snap back when an emergency beeping filled the room.

"Looks like Drake-One picked up something not too far from here!" the turnip blonde looked up from her large watch.

"Dragaunus?" Mallory chirped excitedly.

"Looks like it," the turnip head nodded.

"Let's go!" the white bird ordered.

Dr. Lowes watched as the aliens filled out past her in a hurry. If she was confused before, she was even more dumbfounded now.

"Sorry for whatever troubles we caused you," the white bird stopped to speak to her. "We'll talk to Phil later and get it all straightened out. We don't mean to be any trouble to you."

"Bro, ya coming?!"

"Sorry," he apologized one last time before taking off down the hall.

Dr. Lowes watched from the door as the white bird pulled something out of the large fanny pack at his hips, finally disappearing from sight around the corner with the others. She stood for a moment, giving the opposite hallway a quizzical look. "What the hell just happened?" She turned her attention back to where the group of ducks had disappeared off to, but the silence was unbroken, only the fluorescent lights overhead could be heard humming.

The woman glanced down at her watch. It was only three in the afternoon. "Yup. Definitely need way stronger drinks."

~ * End * ~

* * *

A/N:I too need a strong drink.

Also, a HUGE thanks to FishyFloats for allowing me to use her character, Dr. Katherine Lowes. She was a load of fun to write! I might just use her again someday.


	13. Of Ducks and Dinosaurs

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any part of the Mighty Ducks Animated Series. Sadness...

* * *

Captain Francis Klegghorn pulled up to the blazing building, surveying the damage from the relative safety of his patrol car. It was just as the frantic dispatcher had described. People racing around like organized ants, trying to bring the fire under control. Though, he was surprised to see that half an hour later the cotton candy factory was still burning so intensely.

A mixture of salty and sweet greeted the short man as he exited his car. He had the urge to get back into his vehicle and go buy a few boxes of donuts, if only to make the situation more tolerable for himself.

"Captain Klegghorn."

"Lieutenant Ramirez," the short man bobbed his head in acknowledgement at the approaching officer.

Capt. Klegghorn's eyes darted away to survey the array of pop up tents the L.A.P.D. had set up in order to investigate the situation.

"This is well out of my precinct, not to mention county. Why'd you call me over?" Klegghorn half lied. The young dispatcher had informed him the Ducks were involved and asking for him. Still, San Pedro was a hell of a drive from home. His only saving grace was that it was four in the morning, making the commute only about a half hour drive instead of three.

"There's something... strange that I'd like you to look at," Lt. Ramirez threw a thumb over her shoulder towards the small tent village.

Capt. Klegghorn glanced in the indicated direction, his eyes landing on the group of alien ducks being interrogated by officers in black uniform. The short man growled. "I'll talk to them," he heaved.

"Actually, something stranger," Lt. Ramirez gestured for the redhead to follow.

Francis Klegghorn stood puzzled briefly before following the younger officer. He gave Wildwing and his team a curt nod as he was led by. The tall duck looked almost fearful and just as perplexed as the Anaheim police captain.

The pair came up to an unmarked van, inside sat the thinnest young man Francis Klegghorn had ever laid eyes on. He was furiously typing away at the keyboard on his lap, occasionally pushing back dark hazel hair from his face. Every now and again he paused, looking up at the monitor secured into the side of the vehicle.

Lt. Ramirez knocked on the open back door, drawing the young man's attention. "Well?"

"It looks like a ship taking off, ma'am."

"N.A.S.A. doesn't launch from this end of the country," Lt. Ramirez folded her arms.

"And speed boats don't usually get lodged in the sides of buildings twenty feet from the nearest waterway," the young man countered.

"Speedboat?" Capt. Klegghorn perked up.

"The warehouse behind. There's a bunch of unicorn plushies all over the place," the lieutenant responded.

"That is strange," the little man tucked his hands into his coat.

"Really?" Ramirez had been under the impression that Capt. Klegghorn had dealt with stranger things since the arrival of the alien ducks.

"Yeah," Klegghorn nodded. "I'm surprised that building isn't also on fire, just out of spite. They seem to really hate unicorns."

Lt. Rameriez and the young man in the van exchanged questioning glances. Neither could tell if the captain was being serious or not.

"I actually wanted you to look at this," the lieutenant finally gathered her thoughts and pointed at the screen inside the van. She took a step back, allowing the shorter officer a better viewing.

Francis Klegghorn took in a sharp breathe. "Yup," he nodded slowly, "looks like a ship taking off. Where'd you get this?" he looked up to the lieutenant.

"Dash cam from the first patrol that got on scene."

Capt. Klegghorn turned to the young man in the van. "Can you enhance the picture?"

"Already did."

"Can't you get a better image of this ship? Like zoom in some more and get the details or something?" Capt. Klegghorn demanded. "Like they do on T.V.?"

"That stuff you see on T.V. is all bogus. There's no program that's gonna get you a better, clearer image. Unless you want the computer to start making things up!"

"Okay. Okay. Geez," the captain took a small step back. His attention returning to the monitor as it kept replaying the ship taking off from behind the burning building. His brow knit as he studied the grainy image. So, that was the Saurian ship that Wildwing and his team had told him about. How did something that massive go unnoticed in a county of millions? Wasn't the spiky, dreary design a dead giveaway? What about the noise it must have made landing and taking off?

"So, you know what that is?" Lt. Ramirez sounded hesitant.

Capt. Klegghorn nodded. "A race of alien dinosaurs hell-bend on conquering this world," he informed matter-of-factly. He watched as their faces twisted. Before either of them could put in a word, the dusty haired man lifted a hand. "There are six alien, humanoid, hockey playing ducks standing right over there, and alien dinosaurs who want to conquer the world are hard for you to believe in?"

"And, you know this how..?" Lt. Ramirez puzzled after a moment of silence.

"I- um- I've fought them," he muttered under his breathe. The report on the battle at the Duck's secret base a month ago had nearly gotten him suspended. The story sounded so absurd that even he didn't believe himself. Nevertheless, after hours of questioning and reviewing by his superior officers, it was decided to keep the incident to themselves. The police didn't need to be stirring civilians into a needless frenzy.

"Don't let this leak out," Capt. Klegghorn turned to leave.

"Wait a minute!" Lt. Ramirez raced after the shorter man. "What do you mean 'don't let this leak'!? If there really are dino-aliens trying to take over the world, shouldn't we do something about it!? I mean, we can't just go about like nothing's happening!"

Francis Klegghorn sighed heavily. He looked up at the taller officer and proceeded to explain himself. "We are doing something about it. We've organized small groups within different departments across the L.A. and Orange Counties to work with the Ducks. The problem is that even the Ducks have a hard time finding the Saurians. Those lizards seem to have cloaking devices that thermal, sonar, and even radar can't pick up."

Lt. Ramirez looked flabbergasted. She stammered before finding her voice. "How long has this been going on?"

"We just started putting teams together this past week. They only have a gist of what they've signed up for. Hopefully we'll have something up and running in a month or so. 'Till then, this remains between us. You got any more questions, you come to me. Understood?"

Lt. Ramirez nodded slowly, overwhelmed by the information just disclosed to her. With nothing further to discuss, the two officers of the law parted ways.

Capt. Francis Klegghorn wandered the tent city looking for anything else that could bring the Saurians' existence to light for the general public. Satisfied that nothing else had turned up, he headed back to his squad car and the promise of a restful sleep once he got home.

The dream was quickly shattered as another officer approached. "They're requesting you," the young man gestured at the Ducks.

"Oh, right," the captain had forgotten about them. "Other than the burning building and speedboat in the warehouse, is there anything else they need to answer for?"

The officer looked puzzled at the question. "Well, they only accept responsibility for the warehouse with the toys. They say the cotton candy factory was 'collateral damage'."

Capt. Klegghorn rubbed his temples. "They just love making thing difficult," he muttered, heading towards the tent where the Ducks sat. "Whatever else you get on these birds, report it directly to my superiors. They're in charge of cleaning up after them," the captain pulled a card from within his heavy coat and handed it to the officer, dismissed the young man. "I'll be taking them back to Anaheim now."

The officer bobbed his head, staring down at the little piece of cardstock before heading towards another tent.

"Thanks, Captain," Wildwing looked relieved as the short human approached. "I don't think they were going to let us go this time."

"Probably not," the short man shrugged. "Oh, and Wildwing?" The tall drake looked down at him with the fullest of attention. "I can't always be saving your tails. Especially outside my jurisdiction," he warned.

Wildwing nodded solemnly, fully understanding the gravity of the situation. "Thank you," he stated once more.

"Whatever," Capt. Klegghorn muttered heading back to his car and waving the ducks away. He climbed in, starting the engine and watched as the alien ducks climbed into their large vehicle. "I should have been a lawyer," he put the car into drive.

~ * End * ~

* * *

A/N: Capt. Klegghorn is part of a greater conspiracy!


	14. For The Birds

**Basic Disclaimer: **I don't own any part of the Mighty Ducks Animated Series.

* * *

Nosedive heaved the door open and was greeted by stifling air and intense sunlight. He reconsidered his plan to hide away from the rest of the team up on the roof. But, maybe he could find a nice place on the other side of the slanted roof top to take a seat.

The young drake stepped out, letting the door close behind him. He stared at it as it clanged shut, clenching onto the bag of chips in his hand uncertainly. Why was it so heavy and thick? Did they put that there earlier that year?

He huffed angrily. Who cared? Certainly not him. It wasn't his problem.

Nosedive began walking alongside the raised center, letting his hand slide along the rough exterior wall, and his mind wandered back to the fight that lead him to hideout on the roof.

Mallory was really pissed this time. He felt like she had been seconds from taking him down and beating him to a bloody pulp. Duke rushed in to help when he heard the commotion and nearly got nailed himself. Worse, Wildwing didn't take his side!

Nope. Stupid Wildwing ruffled up slowly while he listened to the two explain their side and continue bickering before finally snapping. He'd smacked Nosedive on the back of the head and then yelled at him! His own brother yelled at him!

The young drake finally made it to the other side of the raised center and sat down on the metal paneling they had installed earlier that year.

"Hot!" He shot back up to his feet. "Why's it hot on this side?" His question drifted away on the wind. Looking at the long row of paneling, he was about a foot into the shaded area. Maybe he needed to go further into the shade to keep from burning his tailfeathers off.

He moved along to the midway point of the roof and was thankfully able to take a seat. He grumbled at how uncomfortable this actually was and began regretting the choice. At least he had his junk food.

Nosedive squeezed the bottom of the bag, popping the chips open. He dug in, stuffing his beak with a handful of junk food. Again, he began thinking back to the fight and its aftermath when a seagull decided to land not to far from him. He glared at it rather surprised while watching it timidly approach. The Pond was at least an hour's drive from the beach, what was this bird doing so far inland?

The bird squaked at him, watching his hand movements carefully. It couldn't talk like he did, but he guessed it wanted to share in the chips' tastiness. Nosedive flicked a chip at the bird and watched it race for the small prize. He couldn't help but smile at the bird's antics. Once it was done with the morsel, it again begged for more food.

"You're pretty greedy, dude," Nosedive tossed another piece, this time letting it fall much closer to himself.

The seagull edged closer wearily, making sure to keep a careful eye on the alien. Out of nowhere, a second seagull came swooping down. With the most awkward of landings, the second bird snatched up and devoured the chip. The first one raced after the second, wings spread and vocalizing it's anger.

Nosedive's smile spread. They acted much like the knils back home, begging for scraps and fighting amongst themselves for whatever was offered to them. He tossed some more chips out and was surprised to see more seagulls land, each adding to the chaotic fighting.

"Uh-oh," Nosedive looked down at the empty bag in his lap. "Sorry dudes," he declared, shaking the bag upside down.

The flock of seagulls looked up at him curiously, a few of them moving closer. One of them was brave enough to snatch the empty bag from his hand, retreating quickly. The gathered crowd mobbed their comrade, each trying to desperately catch a nibble. When they realized that there was nothing more to be had, all heads turned to look at Nosedive.

Nosedive flinched, unnerved by all those beady, little eyes. "We ate it all," he lifted his hands to show that he had nothing more to offer. One seagull came up to him, pecking at the sole of his shoe.

"Dude, I ain't got any more," he gave a small kick, causing the bird to fall back.

Another brave seagull came within reach, managing to get a hold of a feather on his arm, plucking it out as it retreated.

"Hey!" Nosedive got to his feet. "That freakin' hurt!" he rubbed his stinging arm.

The seagulls gathered bravely around him and the young drake found himself with his back against the wall.

"Umm," he cleared his throat. A few seagulls approached him, reaching out and pecking at his lower extremities. Nosedive fumbled to the side, feeling the tugs on his pants. Once he was clear of the small gathering, he took off running for the door. He chanced a glance back, expecting to see the birds running far behind him on their tiny little legs. Instead, the young duck picked up his pace as the flock flapped around his head, their shrill cries growing louder.

"Go away!" Nosedive flailed, trying to protect himself. A few birds happened to catch hold of some golden hair, tugging and whipping at his face as they hovered over him. "Ahh!" Nosedive felt another rip out a few feathers from his waving arm.

The access door came into view and a wave of relief washed over him. The feeling quickly disappeared when he discovered there was no handle on the outside.

"What the hell!?" he banged on the heavy steel, the birds still swarming and squealing around him.

"Why?!" Nosedive hollered, crouching away and trying to protect his head.

"Dive?" Wildwing's voice came from the right.

"HELP!" the younger sibling yelped from the floor.

Wildwing rushed to his brother's side, activating his ice shield. The birds that scattered as he advanced quickly regained their confidence and swooped down once more on the white duck. They fortunately didn't understand the concept of a shield, giving the two brothers an opening to head back inside.

Nosedive lunged into the building, taking a hold of the railing and steadying himself. "This planet is messed up!" he hissed, picking feathers that weren't his out of his hair.

"What happened?" Wildwing asked as he locked the door.

"Crazy birds just attacked me!"

"Why were you even up here, anyways?"

Nosedive pouted, still upset with his brother. "I didn't want to be anywhere near you," he answered flatly.

"So you came to the roof?" Wildwing looked unimpressed with the younger drake's train of thought.

"Yeah. Yeah. I know. It was a stupid idea. I could have fallen off and broken every bone in my little body and died and who cares!" Nosedive threw his arms up, gesticulating wildly with every word.

Wildwing didn't immediately responded. He looked his brother over with great care. "I do."

"Pfff!" Nosedive crossed his arms. "You totally took Mallory's side. You're supposed to have my back! Some big brother you are!"

"Don't confuse family ties for blind loyalty," Wildwing smirked, walking past his brother and towards the open stairwell while smoothing his hair back. "Mallory had every right to beat you up and I should have let her."

"Then why didn't you?" Nosedive challenged, following a few steps behind.

"I'm the only one who gets to beat you up because you're my brother," Wildwing shrugged, a playful tone to his voice. "What kind of a brother would I be if I let just anyone pick on you?" he half turned to see his reaction.

"You're messed up!" Nosedive shoved him playfully as he bounded past the white drake. He got an equally playful, evil chuckle out of his brother. But it was true. Wildwing always had his back. He had always been there for him, even when he hadn't asked for help.

"How'd you know I was up there?" Nosedive turned to look up at his brother.

"I saw you heading up," Wildwing continued the slow trek down, heavy feet sounding on the metal stairs and a knowing smile creeping onto his face. Nosedive just looked at him confused. "You never listen," the older sibling shook his head. "Remember, we build that door to not have a handle on the outside. We all talked about it. But you probably weren't paying attention. So I followed because you're an idiot."

"Wow. Thanks a bunch!" the yellow bird replied. "I'll remember this later!"

Wildwing shrugged uncaringly, a smile tugging on the corner of his bill. "As it is, I'm the only thing standing between you and Mallory. You want to take your chances with her, go ahead."

"Great Mother of Ducks!" Nosedive fained annoyance, reaching the final landing leading up to the roof access. "You'd think I couldn't live without you, or something!"

"I know you can't, baby bro," Wildwing stepped past him, ruffling his hair in good humor. "Also, next time those birds pick on you, you're on your own. You need to learn to stand up for yourself. I'm not always gonna be there for you!" he teased.

Nosedive laughed. "Yes, mama!" he raced across the catwalk towards the elevator and waited for his brother.

~ * End * ~

* * *

A/N: I think I might have picked up a reader or two. WELCOME TO THE MADNESS!

Also, older siblings are jerks... I know because I am the eldest.


	15. Assistant Captain

****Disclaimer:**** Still can't buy this franchise... Still don't own anything!

* * *

"You're a hard duck to find."

Duke grinned devilishly to himself, not turning to greet the younger drake speaking to him. "Old habits die hard," he shrugged as he continued down the street.

Wildwing caught up to the older duck, keeping in stride with him and tucking his hands into his jacket. The night was surprisingly chilly, vaguely reminiscent to one of the warmer days on his home world. He sighed heavily, pushing those thoughts out of his mind before a full bout of homesickness set in.

"What's up?" Duke glanced over.

"Oh, nothing," he lied.

Duke slowed his pace briefly, his features contorting as annoyance began to set in. He quickly dismissed the feeling. If Wildwing didn't want to talk about what was on his mind, he wasn't going to force the issue. The younger drake would speak when he was ready. Experience had taught him that, if anything.

Duke turned abruptly down a small incline, leading to a trail following the channel along the Pond's east side.

Wildwing stood surprised at the top of the incline. For all the time they've been living there, he had never noticed the trail. "Where are you going?" he asked quietly.

"A walk."

"Where to?" the white duck followed down to the trail.

"Nowhere, really," Duke responded. "It just helps clear da mind."

"Is this what you do when you disappear on us?"

The grey duck chuckled. "Sometimes," his tone was playful.

"Do you have to disable the tracker on your comm when you go on walks?" Wildwing's voice was just as teasing, yet it belied a demanding undertone to it.

Duke didn't respond. He liked his privacy just as much as the next person, some would argue even more. He hated being kept track of and had argued that they could still reach him via the communicator if the team really needed him. It'd taken a while, but Wildwing had allowed the former criminal the small luxury of disabling the tracker when he went out, so long as the communication line remained untouched. A gesture that greatly upset Mallory.

"Hey, Duke?"

"Yeah?"

"I've seriously been thinking, I'd like you to be the second in command for the team."

At this, Duke finally halted. He turned to eye the younger duck suspiciously. Was the young captain being angsty again? Wildwing was a natural born leader, but he seemed to be lacking self confidence, a stark contrast to his younger,boisterous brother. Everyone had hoped that after the fiasco with him quitting the team that Wildwing would come to see what he meant to them. Young as he was, he was the glue that kept them together and the mediator that kept them from each other's throats.

"I don't think dat's a good idea," Duke finally responded. "Why not Mal? She's mor' group oriented and da captain on da ice. She knows how ta get things done."

"You have leadership skills."

"Right," Duke rolled his eyes. "If I recall correctly, I lead da team fo' da better of ten whole seconds befor' gettin' caught by a plant."

"Not the highlight of your career," Wildwing snickered.

"I ain't leadership material," Duke shook his head, continuing his stroll.

"You were the leader of a group back home. That's gotta count for something."

"Ya seriously gonna compare a flock of riffraff with a structured team?" Duke's brow rose skeptically.

Wildwing stepped in Duke's path, bringing the older drake to a stop. "Whatever you want to call them, you lead them."

The sudden burst of laughter startled the white drake. Duke took a few small steps back, doubling over in laughter. "That's rich, kid! Oh! If they could hear ya, they'd be rollin' on the floor, dyin' of laughter!"

Wildwing's eyes narrowed, not at all appreciative of being ridiculed. "You were their _leader,_" he emphasized Duke's role in that group.

"Look, them birds in da Brotherhood would sooner rat me out then come ta my rescue. Even less, call me their leader." Duke composed himself, straightening and sticking his hands back into this coat while looking out at the channel beside them. "Da only reason I was '_leader_' was 'cause I brought 'em together fo' my selfish reasons. And fo' years, I convinced 'em dat I was mor' useful to 'em outsid' of jail then inside." He paused, making sure that Wildwing had time to process and understand the situation. "Y've no idea how many times they came dat close ta turnin' on me," he ground out that last confession almost bitterly.

Wildwing stood quietly. He mulled the information over, trying to choose his words. "You were still able to be in command," was the only thing he managed to say.

"Listen, Wildwing, I'm honored," Duke smiled warmly. "But I ain't leader material. Really, if y're lookin' for a second in command ta this operation we got here, go for Mall'ry. She was taught to fight through tough situations, she's organized, has a clear train of thought, keeps her cool und'r battle pressure, and has much mor' experience fightin' than any of da rest of us. She's perfect fo' the role."

Wildwing paused. He already knew this about the weapon's expert. "She's also short tempered."

"Dat's really her only flaw."

"It's a dangerous flaw."

"Perhaps we should strip ya of your leadership 'cause ya lack self confidence?" Duke retorted, meeting the younger drake's eyes with a steady gaze.

At that, Wildwing's face twisted into suspicion. He studied the older drake's unflinching features and realized that Duke was waiting for him to challenge his views. Instead, the younger duck let his shoulders fall defeated. "I get your point," he muttered under his breathe. "You don't have to be an ass about it."

"Just saying," Duke smirked knowingly. "Listen, kid, we've all got flaws. Some bigger than others. Da way I see it, ya got a good head on your shoulders. Ya know how ta keep us focused an' workin' together. Y're a natural leader, but I can't seem to figure out why _you _don't see it. Maybe ya were standin' in someone else's shadow fo' too long? I don't know. Poin' is, don't doubt ya'self. Ya got good instincts."

"You're just trying to wiggle out of responsibility," Wildwing finally resigned with a heavy sigh and a smile tugging on his beak. Nosedive had chided him with a similar speech once.

"Wouldn't be the first time," Duke agreed snidely."But seriously, Mal's great. I don't think she's ever been leader, but she knows how ta pick up where someone else left off. She'd be a great second in command."

The pair stood silently for a while under a lightpost, Duke waiting to hear out the young captain while Wildwing thought the situation over.

"Thank you," Wildwing finally replied.

"Fo'?"

"Kicking me in the tail feathers," Wildwing's voice was full of renewed mirth. "I think I really needed that." He looked up to the dark sky overhead and heaved a broken sigh to himself. It was time to step up to being team captain. No more self doubting or second guessing. As much as it hurt to admit it, Canard was not coming back and he had to accept that. He was the captain now. He had to be the backbone that the others needed in order to survive in this world. And the more he thought about it, the more he realized that Mallory was the natural choice for being the second. She might be young, but she had more battle experience than the rest of them put together.

"Not sure if dat's a good thing. But sure. I'll take wha' I can." Duke was thoughtful, wondering as to what exactly was going through the younger drake's mind.

"This really is a good way to clear your mind," Wildwing beamed. "Anyways, sorry to take up your free time. And thanks again." With that, the white duck turned to head back home, a renewed sense of purpose within himself.

* * *

A/N: Again with the gloom. I make a semi-funny story and then go back to being all gloomy and angsty!

Also, Duke doesn't like responsibility.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer:** Still writing fanfics, still now owning anything other then OCs.

* * *

"What's your problem!?" Audrey had had enough. "What did I ever do to you?"

Nosedive eyed the girl wordlessly before rolling his eyes.

"Seriously! What did I do to you? I thought Mallory was the one who didn't like me, and even she's been nice!" Audrey was exasperated. There was nothing in the past two months since she had arrived on Earth that stood out as remotely eventful between herself and Nosedive. They had initially gotten along remarkably well, spending hours playing video games and talking nonsense about things that had been popular back on Puckworld before the Invasion. But at some point, he began to pick on her, teasing her for no apparent reason. It baffled her.

"How 'bout this?" Nosedive brought his right arm up, "you stabbed me with a fork and didn't apologize. If it weren't for Tanya, I probably wouldn't heal in time for pre-season games."

Audrey narrowed her eyes. "Okay. Fine. You didn't deserve to be stabbed, but you did purposely come up behind me to scare me. It was instinct. I didn't exactly grow up in a nice place."

Nosedive rolled his eyes again. "That's one crappy apology, Ducky."

"Don't call me that! And I'm not apologizing because you're being a jerk for no damn reason!" she pointed at him frustrated.

Nosedive eyed her over once more before sighing. "Okay, everyone seems to have this all wrong, so let's at least get this straight between us. I don't hate you. Not really."

"Right," she rolled her eyes.

"Ya, I lost my cool after the Forking Incident, and I'm still kinda pissed about it. But, ya know, to be honest, I just started pickin' on you 'cause you like my bro."

"What..?" Audrey blinked a few times at the sudden turn in conversation. "I-um-wha..?"

"I ain't blind, Ducky," he shrugged nonchalantly. "The way you look at him and talk to him. Heck, you've gotten really chummy with him too. Kudos. Not many chicks have before. They were all too shy to even talk to him, always cozying up to me and Canard instead. And really hating on Canard's sis, like it was her fault he talked to her. But seriously, crushin' on a drake nearly ten years older?"

"I don't know what-"

A devilish smile spread across his bill. "You seriously gonna play this game?" He stood and walked over. "Listen, I've lived with the guy my whole life and I've seen girls hit on him. The way they act and stuff, it's so obvious. But he's totally oblivious to it, always has been." He leaned his imposing height over her. "Anywho, I can smell a fangirl from miles away. And you, dear little Ducky, are totally crushin' on my big bro."

The young girl gasped, eyes wide and beak agape. If she were human, Nosedive was sure that her face would have turned beet red by now. But as it was, her reaction was more than enough to confirm his suspicions. It had started out as simple teasing, and he knew that she had no idea why he did it. Things had only gone south after the fork accident. And now, here she stood, speechless.

"Don't sweat it, Ducky," Nosedive straightened, his smile never wavering. He planted a hand on her head, mussing chocolate brown hair. "I can keep a secret. Besides, it wouldn't be this much fun if I told him."

Audrey swatted his hand away as she fell back a step. She opened her beak to refute him, but found that no words were forthcoming. Her feathers softly puffing up in annoyance.

Nosedive laughed at the sight. Canard's sister hadn't been nearly as entertaining as this duckling. He'd have to thank Dragaunus next time they meet for bringing Audrey to Earth.

Regaining his composure, the blonde regarded the duckling. He once again reached out to her only to have her flinch away. "Common, Ducky," he headed out the door, "we've got ducks to save!"

Audrey remained planted in her place. She watched him head out the door before reluctantly trailing after him. There was going to be no living with him after this.

~ * End * ~

* * *

A/N: Another really short, short that was going to be part of a longer story, but just couldn't make it anywhere! Maybe one day, I will find a way to fit it into the longer story and delete it from the shorts. Maybe

Also, do you remember being young and having a crush on someone much older and thinking, "I'mma marry that dude someday!"? No? Perhaps I've said too much about myelf...


	17. Tabloid

Disclaimer: BLAH! I still don't own this series or any of the character!

* * *

"What's this!?" Phil shrieked.

"Looks like a tabloid," Duke didn't avert his eyes from the spreadsheet before him as the magazine was slammed onto the desk.

The duck's smartass reply burned at Phil's core. The manager bit down on his tongue. Unlike the others, Duke was a special case that needed to be dealt with carefully. He didn't want to get the run around from this grey bird again.

"Now what did we do?" Wildwing took the bait his teammate was avoiding. The sooner they could get Phil back to his office, the sooner they could finish their end of running the stadium. Reaching over to pick up the tabloid in question, Wildwing's eyes scanned the page and his brow rose. "Seriously?"

That tone finally caused Duke to put his pen down and pay attention. "What now?" he whined, eyes rolling at the unknown situation.

Wildwing shook his head, simply handing the magazine to the older drake. Humans seemed to obsess over the strangest things. And why Phil thought it was a situation was beyond him.

Duke glanced at the article printed in the negative space of a two page photo spread, a frown settling on his features.

"So what's going on?" Phil leaned onto the desk, carefully studying the grey duck. "Anything that I should be worrying about here? Is P.R. gonna have to get involved or something?" It wasn't the first time that these ducks had the Public Relations office running frantic circles and earning those hard worked overtime hours. But even this, Phil thought, would be dicey at best. "Well? You two an item or something?" he pushed the matter.

"It was just a dinn'r," Duke flipped to the next page. Another few incognito photos and paragraphs followed. He skimmed a couple of paragraphs and grimaced. He still couldn't understand how tabloids could publish such brazenly false articles if the humans had some sort of law against personal defamation. He folded the paper, presenting it to his manager cooly.

"Rather cozy looking for 'just a dinner'," Phil looked at the picture in the article accusingly.

"Tanya was stressed, so I invited 'er out. What's so wrong with dat?"

"All done up like that?" Phil pointed at the printed picture. "The only time any of you ever get dressed up like that is some really fancy charity event. And the League Dinner."

"Yeah. It took a while ta convince 'er to get all dolled up," Duke smiled slyly, relaxing into his seat again. "I'd almost given up."

"Aham!" Phil forcefully cleared his throat, demanding his question answered.

"Really, it was just a dinn'r," the gray drake tried to reassure.

"Sitting that close?" Phil jabbed at the spread.

Even Wildwing had to roll his eyes at the implication. "You humans have one-track minds."

"Da booths ta da sides had nosey people tryin' ta eavesdrop. Not dat humans would understand old Aenid," Duke crossed his arms, challenging Phil to defy another aspect of his evening out with his teammate.

Phil regarded his team's center for a long while. His eyes shifted from drake to tabloid. He returned to scanning the article for any more damaging statements printed therein when his eyes fell on the most scandalous sentence in the whole article. "Tanya was wasted leaving this place!" he shrieked.

"If by dat ya mean she wasn't stressed by da time we left, then yeah," Duke shrugged, uncaring about the situation. "Don't worry, I got 'er back safely and put 'er to bed. Though, she followed me back ta my room."

"You slept with her!?" Phil's voice nearly cracked, rising more octaves than either duck could possibly imagine. Now he was really starting to worry about the team's integrity. Not even the Public Relations office would know how to fix this one.

Duke refused to dignify the implication with an answer. If anything, he felt like slugging Phil square in the face for assuming the worse in his character. "She took my bed, I took da couch!" he got to his feet angrily, hands planted firmly to the desktop. "Why da ya aliens always gotta make somethin' outta nothin'!?"

Wildwing finally intervened, placing a hand on Phil's shoulder and getting his attention. "Why does any of this even matter?" the young leader questioned. "You've let other magazines slander us with stupid things, like that time Dive carried Mal piggyback through the hotel in Colorado. There's nothing happening between them, and it keeps coming up." He was still angry that there was nothing they could do about that fabrication.

"'sides, we're all adults here," Duke waved a hand, visibly flustered as he dismissed the conversation.

"It's immorale!" Phil slammed the tabloid onto the desk, eyes locking on to the pair.

"Says who?" Wildwing's patience was growing thin, his arms crossing defensively.

"Everyone!" Phil responded shortly while throwing his arms up.

"Everyone that's _human_," Wildwing corrected. "Has it ever crossed your mind that we have _our_ own morals and standards?"

"W-what? Well- I mean-" Phil stammered, unsure of himself. He shifted his weight between one leg and then the other a few times, trying to gather his thoughts. "It's really not an issue with you guys?" he finally questioned.

The two ducks shook their heads in the negative.

Phil's concern grow exponentially with this revelation as it registered. This was definitely not something he could ever let the media outlets get wind of. Even if the team didn't share his outlook on morality, he had a public image to maintain. And being a promiscuous bunch was not part of the package deal. "Wouldn't it bother you if Nosedive really did hook up with Mallory?" he blushed as he asked the goalie.

Wildwing paused, making a face while considering the question. "He's not a kid that needs me to tell him what to do all the time," he reasoned out loud. His brother was young and impulsive, but not as stupid as everyone made him out to be. Well, not stupid all the time. "If Mallory doesn't drop-kick him for coming on to her, what am I supposed to do about it? Forbid them from ever talking to each other again?"

Phil remained flabbergasted. His mind racing wildly, but no words seemed to come together into a coherent sentence. "So, you two've knocked a few boots around?"

"Knock boots..?" Wildwing repeated the phrase somewhat confused sounding.

"Probably means 'stuffin' pillows'," Duke suggested, leaning forward and interlacing fingers on the desk.

"I figured as much," the young leader rolled his eyes at the older duck annoyed. "No more than anyone else, I suppose," he shrugged indifferently.

Phil stood shocked still, his mind still working hard to wrap itself around the relaxed nature of the two. There was nothing! Not even a hint of embarrassment! The two were so laid back about the subject matter that anyone walking by would think they were just discussing hockey like any other day.

Phil looked down to Duke, waiting intrepidly for his response. The older duck only grinned licentiously at him, eyes locked. Phil instantly regretted the line of inquiry as he fought to keep horrid mental images from consuming his mind about the team's center.

"I-Just that- I mean-" he fought to find the words he was looking for. Giving up altogether, the human brought his hands up to his temple and massaged the tender spots on either side of his head. This wasn't a simple headache, it was going to be a migraine. "Just don't go spouting these views around to anyone that'll talk."

"Why?" Duke questioned.

He was either trying to get an honest response or trying to aggravate him further, Phil couldn't tell which. "Sleeping around is morally wrong among humans."

"Could've fooled me," Duke snickered.

Phil gave the duck his most stern glare, but to no effect. "And whether you guys like it or not, you're living in a human world. Being judged by human standards," he concluded.

The two ducks just glanced at him completely unfazed, Wildwing's shoulders rising in a shrug while Duke grinned wickedly at the manager. No doubt ready to disobey him in the near future.

"I'll make sure to make your lives a living hell if I hear a peep of this," Phil threatened, leaning on the desk. Both ducks finally looked worried with that last statement, prompting Phil to continue. "Even though they have their own team, the Phoenix Racetrack wants you guys for a day of 'fun in the sun'. You guys are free after May, so maybe I should just call them back and set up the event. You guys remember what the weather is like out there, right?"

The two fidgeted uncomfortably. Before either could put in a word, Phil's brow rose. "Try me," he challenged.

"You made your point," Wildwing huffed defeated.

"We won't say a word 'bout our culture without y'r approval first," Duke added bitterly. He wasn't used to being on the receiving end of threats.

Phil picked up the tabloid that had brought him into the office in the first place. He glanced at it as he turned to leave, savoring his small victory. "I'll see what I can do about _Stars Insider _and their obsession with Mallory and Nosedive," he stopped at the door, giving Wildwing a small smile before heading off to his office. At best, he could make an anonymous call about their uptown rivals with some of the dirt he had on them.

~ * End * ~

* * *

A/N: Many thanks to FishyFloats for her shark like abilities as a beta reader, and for also being a good sound board to bounce ideas off of.


	18. Cinco De Mayo

**Disclaimer:** This is still a 'fanfic'. I own nothing other then the almost funny story that is being present... and an OC. Have fun reading!

* * *

Audrey's confusion quickly gave way to complete ridicule. She couldn't help herself from doubling over in laughter at the sight. "You guys look stupid!" she managed to say between bouts of laughter, clutching onto the colorful tablecloth.

"Fuck off," Mallory growled as she stalked by angrily. She paused in front of a full length mirror and stared at the getup. It wasn't the worse thing she'd ever been made to wear since arriving on Earth, but this was definitely not the best.

The redhead tugged on the long, multilayered skirt. It wasn't that bad, except that it looked like a rainbow had vomited all over it. The overall lime green dress' many layers ended in a strange assortment of bright, bold colors. The top was just as flowy and green, but trimmed with white lace rather than the bold, colored bands of the skirt. The ensemble was topped off with a bundle of oversized, paper flowers weaved into her short hair with matching, lime green ribbons.

"I think this is kinda cool," Nosedive stepped up beside her, fixing his black coat and admiring himself.

The guys were all wearing fitted, black pants, lined with silvery clasps and chains running down the outside length of each pant leg. Other than decoration, the team couldn't figure out the purpose for why there were so many. Black coats worn over bleached white dress shirts were cut rather short and embroidered with flowing white lines along the edges. Their ensemble was completed with a bright red, puffy tie and ridiculously large brimmed black hats also lavishly embroidered.

"Well, that's because you don't have to wear a vase on your head," Tanya quibbed, pointing at the barrage of giant, colorful paper flowers braided into her long hair.

"I don't know," Duke looked the two over with a dissipated grin. "I think ya both look kinda cute. Them flowers add flavor."

"Maybe we should get you in a lacy skirt too," Mallory's irritation carried through her sarcasm.

"Common, Mal. Ya don't think I look dashin' in this?" he winked at her, coming up behind her and getting a good look at himself in the mirror. "We look together," he insisted.

Mallory rolled her eyes, landing an elbow into the grey drake's midsection and getting some space in between them. "In your dreams, gramps," she headed towards the table Audrey sat at. She forced herself not to smile at Duke's comment. She wouldn't admit it out loud, but the guys all looked very handsome in the black outfits. Even Nosedive looked much more matured by the costume. Unfortunately, poor Grin was dressed up as a giant taco since there was nothing in his prodigious size.

Wildwing tugged at the large bow tie around his neck. "It's like it's trying to strangle me, very slowly," he complained, taking a seat across the table from Audrey. He eventually left the tie alone for a handful of chips and assortment of salsa dips on the table.

"Quit complaining," Phil instructed, receiving only groans from his team. "You're lucky I could get this gig last second."

"What is this for?" Audrey finally asked Phil, pointing at the dressed up group and strange food.

"The grand opening of _Manny's Taqueria_," Phil announced proudly, producing a flyer from the inside of his suit jacket and handing it to the young girl.

"I knew it!" Nosedive pipped up excitedly. "This is one of the Mariochi costumes!"

"Mariachi," Phil corrected.

"Do we get some cool guitars too?" Nosedive insisted.

Phil thought the request over. "That would make for a stronger photo composition," he rubbed his chin deep in thought. "I'll go see what I can find," he replied heading out the door and to the front of the little restaurant.

Once the manager was out of the small break room, Audrey turned to the group. "If you really hate doing this that much, why do you let him talk you into it?" she threw a thumb over her shoulder towards the door. When she had first arrived, she had imagined that their lives had been filled with nothing but crime fighting and hockey. She was surprised to realize that showing up for grand openings, public appearances, and a barrage of other non-hockey related activities was what really ate away at all their time.

"Having to be an adult," Wildwing responded flatly, starting to fiddle with the tie again.

"I don't get it," Audrey tilted her head.

"We're kinda, how do I put this," Nosedive pondered for the right works, tapping at the end of his beak. "Reckless," he admitted, eyes bright and full of recognition.

"_You're_ reckless," Mallory emphasized, dipping a chip in some green salsa.

"Oh? Who was it that shot that stack of oil barrels with an exploding puck?" the young blond reminded, a shit-eating grin as Mallory frowned at him.

Wildwing interrupted. "Point is, more than half of what we earn playing hockey goes to paying out for property damages we incur."

"And that's a lot," Tanya adjusted her glasses as she took a seat, also reaching over for some tortilla chips.

Audrey started counting off on her fingers. She had a rough estimate of Duke's income and guessed that the others earned more or less about the same. She made quick work of the math and looked up surprised. "Seriously!?" she nearly choked on the word while receiving a nod from both Wildwing and Tanya. "What happens to the rest?" she asked.

"Food!" Nosedive pipped up, taking a soda from the end of the table.

"Ammunitions restock," Mallory put in.

"Personal affects," Grin didn't move from the corner of the room where he was meditating.

"And our share of the Pond and the property it sits on," Duke added, getting a groan out of Wildwing.

"Wait, what?" Audrey looked really confused now.

"T-t-the team and the building are two separate things," Tanya held up a finger on each hand, moving them away from each other from across the table. "We," she gestured to her teammates in the room. "We, are the owners of six-sevenths of the team. Phil owns the last one-seventh and is also the manager."

"Okay," the young girl nodded understanding so far.

"We were sma't enough ta make sure we owned da team from da beginnin'," Duke picked up explaining. "Phil gave us a hard time, sayin' he should've been da owner and whatnot, since he knew the earth rules an' all. We eventually got 'im ta let us split da team seven ways. But, he kinda failed ta mention dat da ownership of the buildin' was not included in da package. So for a while there, we had ta scurry 'round to pay for our home on top of all our other expenses."

"That's messed up!" Audrey looked back to the direction Phil had headed off to.

"Yeah!" Nosedive agreed. "We were always cutting it close. Usually doing more stupid stunts then we wanted just to pony up the chips."

"You liked a lot those stunts and apparences," Tanya scoffed, knowingly.

"Nothing wrong with getting free stuff," Nosedive cracked his trademark smile.

"Anyways," Wildwing cut in. "We eventually also got ownership of most of the building."

"How'd you manage that with that stickler?" Audrey questioned.

"We scare-talked Phil into it," Mallory chuckled. "We got served with papers to investigate 'potential hazardous materials' in the base. Humans are really freaked out by fusion generators apparently," she shrugged well toned shoulders. "Anyways, after that incident, Phil was so terrified of a potential lawsuit that we talked him into selling us fifty-one percent of the building."

"That way, if the building isn't up to code or if there's ever any trouble, Phil can just blame it on us," Wildwing finished.

"You're letting him get away with saving his tail feathers?" Audrey sounded indignant.

"Look, Ducky," Nosedive took a seat, straddling the chair next to the young girl. "It sounds bad, but it's actually a good deal."

"Phil can't force us to open the underground base for tours and stuff like he wants," Wildwing continued where his brother left off. "Same with some of the hidey-holes we have around the arena, so long as we can pay our share on time. And when we don't have enough, we give in to these publicity events."

"This way, we get to keep our home to ourselves," Grin added raising from his spot and taking a seat at the table with his teammates.

"But- I mean-" Audrey wanted to argue.

"Nosedive's right," Tanya cut in. "We've got puck possession no matter how out of control we, umm, well, you know, how we look at the moment."

"Not to mention Phil's just waiting to pounce the moment we can't keep up," Wildwing added, always dreading what might happen if they ever did miss a payment.

The door to the break room swung open. "Alright, bubulas! It's show time!" Phil clapped his hands few times, trying to get the ducks to their feet and out the door. Not one of them stirred to move. He huffed slightly put off. Why were they always so hard to motivate? "The faster you get on your feet, the faster you're out of here!" he advised.

That finally incentivized them to start moving. The adult ducks slowly shuffled out the door while Audrey trailed them alongside Phil.

"Don't forget those big smiles!" Phil reminded from the rear. "Big, happy smiles and you get to keep the base to yourselves for another month!"

~ * End * ~

* * *

A/N: It's not as funny, but I like it anyways!

Also, thank you everyone for all your reviews. It warms my heart that people are still enjoying all my lil blurbs.


	19. The Mask of Drake DuCaine

**Disclaimer:** Writing fanfics... don't own any of the characters presented here...

* * *

Wildwing still couldn't believe that he was holding the legendary Mask of Drake DuCaine. For centuries, scholars and adventurers had sought out the nearly mythical artifact and all had failed. All, except for his best friend.

But Canard was gone now and no one on the team had any clue how to find him. If they could find him at all.

Wildwing pushed the thought out of his mind. He didn't want to think of it. He wasn't willing to admit just yet that somewhere deep down, he knew that he was never going to see his childhood friend again. Instead, he focused on the old Mask. It really was nothing extraordinary. For all he knew, it could have sat in someone's basement for years and years, collecting dust. Heck, someone could not have known its significance and sold it in some yard sale, it was so ordinary and plain.

The white duck turned the artifact in his hands to view the underside. It was smooth, except for a couple of tiny ridges and some small punctured holes arranged in a circular fashion around the face and between the eye sockets. What they were there for, he couldn't begin to fathom. Flipping back to see the face, he wondered why its regular appearance was that of a ordinary hockey mask. It looked like a smooth, white plastic or resin with the ancient breathing holes radiating outwards. It really was unremarkable and common looking. If anyone had found it in the past, he could see why they'd overlooked it.

Wildwing let that train of thought go. That would be something to ponder another day. For now, he had to figure out how to work the Mask of Drake DuCaine if he was really planning on being team captain. He had only worn the Mask once, earlier in the day and it had helped him defeat Dragaunus. It was an invaluable asset and he needed to know its strengths and weaknesses.

He placed the Mask of DuCaine on his face once again. It took a moment for his vision to comfortably adjust to the Mask's red world.

"I wonder if you can change it so-," he muttered to himself. Instantly, the Mask adjusted itself and the world was clear, as if he wasn't even wearing it. Wildwing tore the Mask off startled. "How the-" he breathed heavily. After catching his breathe he cautiously placed the Mask on again. His vision was still clear, as if he were seeing with his own eyes. He looked around the room, unable tell if he was seeing things with his eyes or through the Mask's lens. How could he test that?

He focused on a soda can sitting next to his bed.

Nothing happened.

Okay. How had he gotten it to work before? He had simply wanted to be able to see Dragaunus earlier when he had first donned the Mask. No spoken command or physical gesture to activate it was required. And he had thought about being able to see without the red filter just a moment ago.

_Alright, it's somehow controlled through thought_, he concluded. He focused on the soda can again, this time wanting to see the mineral makeup of the can. In an instant, the can was outlined in red with a list of elements and percentages being displayed to the right of it. Wildwing cracked a wide grin. This wasn't so hard.

He looked around the room, playing with the Mask's ability to identify objects. He was surprised to notice that it was identifying strictly human objects without a problem as well. Was the Mask privy to other worldly objects that he wasn't familiar with? How could he find out?

Widlwing sat quietly, contemplating how to test his theory._ What does a human blaster look like?_ he wondered. He could see a few points rapidly blinking in succession, processing his request just above his field of vision. In the end, nothing was displayed. He crossed his arms a bit put out, thinking deeply on the matter. _A Saurian blaster?_ Four different models of blasters popped up on the screen, one which he'd never seen before. Focusing on that last blaster, it was pulled forward and its specifications displayed.

Okay, so the Mask did have information he wasn't aware of, but not about objects from other dimensions. Maybe it was learning things as it came across them?

_Is it sentient?_ he gulped, fearing the response he might get. Nothing happened and he felt deeply relieved. At least there wasn't a sentient being reading his mind.

He sat for a moment thinking of how to further test the Mask's abilities. Looking down at his hand resting on folded leg, he began to wonder if he could see his own bones. The Mask changed once again to it's red field of vision, flashing a few times before revealing his skeleton. Wildwing moved his hand, flexing his fingers and extending his legs. He was viewing everything in real time with no delay. _Blood vessels?_ The Mask added a new layer displaying the circulatory system of his arms and legs.

Wildwing rose from his bed and headed to the bathroom, flicking the lights on as he stood before a mirror. "Lungs," his voice echoed in the enclosed room. To his surprise, the Mask of DuCaine did not show him anything and he frowned. "What the heck? Did I break it?" he brought a hand up, glancing at it he was still able to see his bones and blood vessels layered above those. A look in the mirror revealed that he couldn't see his reflection's internal anatomy.

_Interesting_, he thought. Would the same thing happen if he were to look at a hologram or projection or even an image on a computer or television? He'd test that out later.

Heading back to his bed he thought of other things he could do with Drake DuCaine's Mask. "Where am I?" he questioned as he took a seat at the edge of the bed. The Mask pulled up a digital, three dimensional map of the underground base. It blinked a lighter red, identifying his room while zooming into the location, pinpointing him on his bed. He felt rather unnerved by it's accuracy.

_Where's my brother?_ he continued testing the limits.

The wireframe of the underground base and arena above whirled while zoning into one of the base's rooms, which it highlighted in the lighter red shade. Wildwing nearly threw up as he tore the Mask off. That was most dizzying thing he had ever witnessed in his life. He dry heaved, wondering if he would ever get used to that. After calming himself and rubbing his eyes, he placed the Mask back in place.

The Mask had reset, displaying his room through it's red filter. "Alright," he gulped, tightening his fists. "Where's Nosedive," he demanded, imagining the information coming up in a slower fashion. Again the wireframe building was pulled forward, twisting a full one hundred and eighty degrees before singling out the same room as before. And just as he had wanted, the information was displayed at a much slower pace. He smiled triumphantly.

Now to take the testing one step further. "Where's the rest of the team?" He watched the rendering of the base pull out and blink each member with their name next to their location.

"Who else is in the base?" he looked around aimlessly. The Mask of DuCaine identified another living being in the underground base and labeled the form as Philip P. Palmfeather.

That was odd. Phil wasn't anywhere near any of the others. He usually made himself known when he was in the base. "Where's he going?" Wildwing questioned no one. The Mask pulled up the layout for the opposite side of the level, showing the direction the human was heading and mapping out possible paths Phil could take.

There was nothing on that end of the base yet because they hadn't had the time to build on that side. The only thing in that direction was their temporary munitions storage room.

"He wouldn't," Wildwing stood. He didn't notice when the Mask seamlessly switched from the topographical map to actually being able to see through the reinforced walls of the base and actually watch Phil's back walking away cautiously. Phil missed a turn and the Mask eliminated a few options as to where the human was heading on the now resized and smaller layout map that had been pushed to the upper right of the Mask's field of vision.

"Oh no you don't!" Wildwing took off running in Phil's direction. He hadn't taken more than a few steps before the Mask of Drake DuCaine flashed a warning. Wildwing didn't get the chance to read the warning as he collided into a solid mass. He rebounded backwards, hitting the floor with a great force and a resonating thud. He groaned in agony as he brought his hands up to his face. "Sweet Mother of Ducks!" he yelped, rolling onto his side, one hand pulling off the Mask while the other clutched the end of his bill.

The young duck looked up, wanting to see what he had run into. His eyes were meet with the cold, blue panel lined concrete wall of his room.

He had run straight into the wall.

"Holy pucks, that hurts!" he continued to roll on the floor while gripping his beak. He started to feel intense pain radiating from his back where he had connected with the concrete floor and chest where he'd slammed into the wall. Another sharp pain at the back of his head began to blossom as well.

Even with all the pain consuming him, Wildwing had enough sense left in him to hit the call button on his communicator. Tanya's face was the first to flash on the little screen, her features quickly turning to concern as he continued to curse.

"A-a-are you alright?!" she sounded really worried.

"Bro! What happened?" Nosedive's voice cut in on another line.

"Nothing," Wildwing managed to hiss between clenched teeth. "Phil. Phil's heading towards the munitions storage. Someone needs to get him," he ordered reaching up to the back of his head and making sure he wasn't bleeding.

"On it," Duke's voice chirped.

Wildwing continued to curse on the open line, tightening his eyes shut and forgetting that the others could see him through the communicator's video feed. He heard echoing footsteps through the open line and Nosedive's startled voice as he nearly collided with someone.

"Is he alright?" Mallory's voice came through his brother's open channel.

"I don't know," Nosedive sounded anxious, racing down the corridor again. "Bro, where are you?"

Wildwing didn't answer. The pain in his body was intensifying, keeping him from caring about anything else. "Tanya, could you bring a first aid to my room?" he finally relented. They were going to laugh at him once they found out what he had just done. He could already hear the mockery he would have to endure for months, and in his brother's case, maybe even years.

"I'm, umm, I'm on my way," the engineer replied, a sense of urgency to her.

Wildwing looked at the discarded Mask of Drake DuCaine, which lay just out of his reach. This was a lesson he was never going to forget.

* * *

A/N: I just wanted Wildwing to run into a wall.


	20. Homesick

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Might Ducks Animated Series or any of the characters presented herein.

* * *

Grin tried to focus on the punching bag before him, his strikes, however, sloppily landed on the sack of sand. He clenched his teeth, trying to rein in his wandering thoughts. A feat more difficult than expected.

No matter the effort exerted, his mind kept returning to the day's earlier events. Dragaunus had offered them a one-way ticket back home. The notion of being set up for a trap was quickly dispelled once Wildwing used the Mask of DuCaine to verify the final destination on the Saurian's teleporting device. Regardless of the enemy's surprising honesty, his instinct was to decline the generous offer. But, before any decision could be cemented, a future version of Phil appeared, whisking them away and showing them Earth's future as left in Dragaunus' hands. After helping save that eerily familiar future, they were returned to their time and place in Anaheim and the Mighty Ducks then defeated their old nemesis before returning home and calling it a day.

That should have been the end of that matter. He should have been so tired that once he had climbed into bed he should have slept soundly for the next few days. Unfortunately for him, that wasn't at all the case. Instead, he found himself in the stadium's gym, distancing himself from his teammates and trying desperately to exhaust himself into numbness.

He was frustrated beyond words.

And after a few minutes with the punching bag, he found that he wasn't frustrated with the Saurians, but with himself. He didn't want to be there anymore. He didn't want to be on Earth. He wanted to go home. He should not have hesitated and voted to go home when the chance presented itself, regardless of what the future held for Earth.

An explosion of sand and dust brought his wandering mind back to the present and he coughed, taking a few steps back. Dark eyes landed on the punching bag only to find that he had somehow torn a hole into the fabric.

Grin stood in stunned silence for a beat as his mind registered what had happened. His mood soured and he grit his teeth. Clenching a fist tightly, he pulled a powerful arm back before punching the bag one last time. The punching bag broke free of its tethered suspension and sailed across the room, slamming into the wall on the far end, before coming to rest on the floor.

"And I thought I had anger problems."

Grin whirled around at the voice behind him. He instinctively brought his hands up in a defensive manner, ready to pummel any threat that presented itself.

"WHOA!" Mallory fell back a couple of dozen steps, her hands in a gesture of stoppage as fear rapidly clouded her features. "Easy there! It's just me!" she worriedly twitched. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to take him down if he ever snapped and attacked her. She was confident in her abilities, but Grin was in a league of his own.

Grin eyed her sternly before lowering his defenses. "Sorry," he barely whispered, embarrassed by his actions.

Mallory watched as he sheepishly looked down to the mess at his feet. He was always so calm and collected that she was shocked to see him lose his grip the way he just had. "You alright?" She mentally berated herself for asking such a stupid question after what she'd just seen. Though, she had to admit, she'd never had a way with words.

"I seem to have lost my center," he sighed heavily.

Mallory looked around the gym. He called destroying one punching bag losing his center? She'd hate to be around if he ever took his anger out on a wall. "I'll make a note," she muttered, heading towards the utility closet and taking a broom. "So, what's up?" she tried again as she approached the mess on the ground.

Grin reached out, gently taking the broom from her before she had a chance to begin sweeping. He remained silent, avoiding her as he gathered the sand into a neat pile.

A slight pang of annoyance swelled within Mallory as the grey bird seemed to ignore her. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Instead, she decided to make herself useful and retrieve a small trash can and dust pan. Silently, she kneeled next to the sand, waiting patiently for Grin to sweep the grains onto the steel tray.

"I miss Grandma's company," Grin stated quietly. "I miss home."

Mallory looked up surprised. She eyed him carefully, studying his stoic, unreadable features before allowing a soft chuckle to escaped. The mental image of the massive drake standing next to a little, old, hunched back hen was amusing. "Not your parents? Or brothers or sisters?" she questioned.

"I have none," Grin responded solemnly.

Mallory stiffened, nearly dropping the sand onto the floor again. "I-I'm sorry," she practically stuttered. "I, um, I didn't mean to, you know…"

"No need to apologize," Grin answered in that quiet way of his.

The two continued their task in silence. Grin watched as Mallory shifted uncomfortably from time to time, yet all the while she remained quiet. No doubt her mind must have been filled with many questions. As they collected the last of the sand, a question formed in his mind. He weighed the consequences of addressing it to his teammate. "Do you not miss home?" his curiosity got the best of him.

Mallory glanced up, surprised once again. "Of course I do," she answered. "I'm pretty sure we all do," she concluded unsure as to what had brought about such a question.

Grin considered the answer. "You don't seem to be bothered by being stuck here," he gestured at their surroundings.

The redhead sat on the floor, puzzled. She shrugged her shoulders a few times. "Of course it bothers me. I just try to not let it bother me."

"That doesn't make sense," Grin frowned, taking the dustpan from her.

Mallory gave a sad little laugh. Her teammates seemed to assume she was some sort of ice queen with no feelings who only had a one-track mind dedicated to some mission or another. Well, now seemed a good as time as ever to dispel those ideas. "I think about my mother and brothers every day. I wonder how they're doing. What's happened to them now that Dragaunus isn't there anymore. I wonder if Kwack was able to find Mom and Roy. If they've given Friseal[L1] a proper funeral." Mallory stilled, her features suddenly growing dark. "I wonder if they think I'm dead," she barely whispered as an afterthought, bringing her knees up and hugging them.

Grin took a seat next to the readhead, watching as Mallory quietly wiped the tears from her eyes. Not knowing what how else to comfort her, he reached out, placing a massive hand on her shoulder. She looked up, giving him a weak smile.

"What about you, big guy?" she sniffed, composing herself. "Is Grandma the only one waiting for you back home?"

Grin looked bewildered by the sudden question. "Yes," he finally decided to answer.

"What's she like?" Mallory persisted, trying to keep the attention off herself.

Grin gave the empty gym a look around, unsure of himself, as if looking for something that might be out of place. "Grandma is kind and loving," he finally began to open up, a warm smile stretching his bill. "She is patience personified. I would do anything to make her happy. And she makes the greatest _thidasquis_ ever."

"Oh man! Do I miss those!" Mallory straighten up gleefully. "I haven't seen anything like them here. I wish we could get our hands on some." She could practically taste the treats from their homeworld.

The larger duck waited a beat before responding, "I know how to make them."

Mallory's expression was a mixture of excitement and disbelief. Her eyes began to glint with a joy that Grin had never seen before. "Really?" she sounded so happy that it took the larger duck aback momentarily.

"We need the squis, obviously." He began to explain. He hadn't explored the human world the way his teammates had, but he was confident that there was something similiar to squis on Earth. He'd seen the remaining ingredients at some point or another as the others would bring things back. "It shouldn't be difficult," he nodded running through a mental check list.

Mallory got to her feet, dusting her backside. "Let's make some! The others will love it!"

"It's three in the morning."

"And neither of us are going to sleep any time soon."

Grin hummed an embarrassed agreement to the redhead's statement.

"I know I've seen a twenty-four hour store before," she tapped the end of her bill as she headed for the door. "I don't mind paying for everything as long as you cook. I'm not a very good cook," she admitted bashfully as she opened the door. "You coming?" she held the door open.

Grin scrambled to his feet, hurrying towards the door. She was serious about going out at this hour to find food. Then again, Nosedive had mentioned almost getting stabbed with a spoon for granola once. Maybe the yellow duck hadn't been exaggerating that much. He shuffled out the door, waiting for his teammate as she gave the gym one last look around before securing the door behind her.

"Thank you," he found his voice humbled and low.

"For?"

"Helping me regain my center."

Mallory smiled fondly, balling a fist and playfully punching the grey duck in the arm. She wouldn't admit it, but she was also saddened by the thought that they had missed an opportunity to go home. She assumed that Grin was in the arena's gym for the same reason as she. "Don't go around ruining my explosive image, I worked hard for that. Got it, big guy?" she teased.

Grin nodded good naturally, thankful for her understanding presence.

Together, the unlikely pair made their way to the base below the stadium and into their kitchen.

~ * End * ~

* * *

A/N: This fandom needs more Grin centered stories. So here's something that's been sitting on my computer for well over a year.

On an other note: HOLY COW! 20 short stories! Some 26,500 words! I can write! Well, maybe not the way I would like to, but I suppose this is a start. Anywho, thanks for reading and like always, I hope you enjoyed it ^_^

And on a final note, a very deep and warm thanks to Emily L'Orange for allowing me to use her art as the cover for this series of shorts. GO! Check out her art on deviantart art: emily-lorange dot Deviantart


	21. Signs of Affection

**Disclaimer:** Still writing fanfics and not owning anything!

* * *

Nosedive backtracked, looking into the room he just passed curiously. Martha had been hired by Phil a long time ago to sort their mail out. Her days consisted of separating junk from correspondence and fan mail. She then delivered the important pieces to the corresponding duck's locker. That was how the six aliens got their mail.

But at the moment, though, Martha looked like she was prepared for a surgery. She donned a surgical mask with her long hair bound back with a bandana. An apron covered her front and blue, latex gloves protected her hands and lower forearms. Her mad scientist look was completed with a pair of lit candles adorning the table.

The young woman reached forward to retrieve a brown package from a bag of what looked to be mail. With a box cutter, she meticulously cut it open. She pulled the contents out with a pair of kitchen tongs. A piece of cloth was immediately disposed of in a heavy duty trash bag, while a piece of paper was carefully opened and examined. After a moment, the paper was also tossed into the trash.

Nosedive watched the process repeated twice more before stepping into the room. He came up to the table in silent awe, his mind still racing to figure out what was happening.

"OH MY GOD!" Martha yelped as she finally caught sight of the duck now taking a seat next to her. She clutched the material over her heart, steadying her breathing. "Where did you come from?!"

Nosedive couldn't help but laugh at her outburst. "Chill, girlie. I'm not gonna abduct you or anything."

Martha seemed to relax. Her shoulders eased as she leaned back into her chair. She might have smiled at him, but he couldn't tell with the mask on her face. After a tense moment of silence, she began to fidget again.

"So, what'cha doing?" Nosedive asked.

Martha looked down at the table full of envelopes and her box cutter. "Sorting mail," she squeaked.

"Looks like you were just tossing it out," he reached for a parcel.

"Don't touch it!" her voice tittered on being dire.

Nosedive pulled his hand back, making sure to not touch the mail. Wow. He'd heard that messing with the mail was a serious offense with earthlings, but he didn't imagine it to be this serious. A quick glance at the mail revealed some of it address to him. "But it's mine…" he whined, hurt by her outburst.

Martha was now starting to blush. Geez, humans and their emotions were bizarre. "Okay," he started. "Ya gotta level with me, girlie. What's going on here?"

Martha hung her head in shame, her blush brightening.

"Look, I ain't mad or anything. I'm just curious."

Again nothing.

"What's that smell?" he finally looked around.

Martha pointed to the trash bag on her left. Her ears were now a burning red.

Nosedive looked down into the bag, confused beyond words. "I don't get it."

"It's, umm… Well, you see," she fumbled with her words. She looked up, catching his light colored eyes. "They're undies," she finally managed to utter. "Very dirty undies," she added so softly that he nearly missed it.

Nosedive nodded slowly. "I still don't get it," he declared, his voice flat and emotionless.

Martha looked at him uneasily. Phil had told her that the ducks didn't always understand human customs. He had explained that if they ever asked for clarification, she shouldn't be afraid to do so. But, how could she explain this?

"You see," she began gesturing. "Umm, you guys have a lot of fans. A lot of female fans at that. And sometimes those female fans actually love you, even though you've never met. I mean, you see, they _really_ love you. They love you so much that they want to share that 'love' with you. In a sexual way. By sharing their undies with you. Their dirty undies..." her voice trailed off, defeated.

The room was so deadly silent that one could probably hear a pin drop from the busy freeway across the street.

Nosedive made a face. "Eww," he finally pieced it all together. "You humans are really disturbed!" he pushed away from the table.

"Some," Martha admitted with a nervous laugh.

"Dudette, just toss it all out!"

"Well, not everything in here is undies. Sometimes it's actually a fan sending you guys a t-shirt, or banner, or something cool."

"And sometimes it's underwear," Nosedive teased.

"Don't you guys have something similar to that?" Martha pointed at the trash bag with the underwear. Nosedive was once again caught off guard, studying the human before him. "I mean, you mentioned that you have leagues back home, right? So you must have really popular players, right? You guys probably also have a custom where you send them stuff as a sign of admiration?"

"Not lustful panties," Nosedive laughed lightly while crossing his arms on the table, leaning forward. He put a finger up to his bill, tapping the end in thought. "It's usually just fanmail, like you do here. If you want to show that ya really like them, maybe a piece of jewelry? Get them a reservation to a swanky place?"

"That's pricey," Martha couldn't help but whistle at the thought. She could never imagine coming across a piece of jewelry in the ducks' fan mail. And a reservation to a nice resturant? Their customs truly were different. "Does the reservations to a nice place actually work?"

"Nah," Nosedive smiled. "They'd kindly decline and return the invitation. But that's probably the best way to get something autographed back."

"That's disappointing," Martha sat back in her chair. "What about crazy fans that just jump out crowds and try to kiss you? How do you guys deal with those fans?"

Nosedive visibly shuddered.

"What?"

"Kissing is disgusting. It looks like you guys are trying to devour each other's faces off. It's gross!" Nosedive stuck his tongue out.

"Oh, well, let me apologize for the whole of humanity," Martha replied sarcastically and the two laughed. "So, no kissing?" she insisted.

Nosedive once again tapped the end of his bill a few times. "Don't work the same," he grinned. Anticipating her next question, he continued, "It's a nuzzle, a soft touch of the beak. But there's a difference from, say your parents to a lover," he tried to explained.

"Ah! Is that why you guys get mad when people touch or flick your bills?"

"Oh, no!" he shook his head fervently. "Flicking a beak is the same as when you guys flip each other off. It's fighting challenge."

Martha considered his answer. "But, I've seen Wildwing flick your beak."

Nosedive shrugged. "He's my brother. He doesn't do it with force and I know there's no malice behind it. I've done it to him. That said, I wouldn't go around doing it to, say, Duke or any of the others. Not unless I wanted my lights punched out."

Martha giggled at the thought while leaning back in her chair. "So, beak flicking people you're really familiar with is ok, but not strangers?"

"Not really. It's wrong no matter what. But I guess it's just the intent behind the action that matters." Nosedive found himself having a difficult time trying to explain. He scratched his head trying to think of a better way to define the action. "I can't explain it," he finally said.

"I think I get it," Martha smiled warmly under her mask. She'd learned much from him in this short time.

A heavy sigh soon escaped her as her eyes landed on the bag of envelopes at the end of table. She still had a long way to go, and another two bags that lay on the floor to go.

"Wanna go grab something to eat?" Nosedive's voice cut through her thoughts. He stood from his place, throwing a thumb over his shoulder towards the door.

The young woman looked back at the pile she had left. She was about to refuse the offer before thinking better. "Sure," she got up, pulling her gloves off and disposing of them. "I just need to go wash my hands and freshen up," she put out the candles before following the large duck.

Nosedive rolled his eyes. "That's another weird thing you humans do," he commented.

"That's not weird!" she protested, tailing him out the door. "Besides, do you want me to smell like a skunk and hobo had filthy, god-forsaken sex?"

Nosedive burst out laughing. That was the strangest thing he'd heard in awhile. "Man! You're gonna have to explain that one!"

"Only if you explain this beak nuzzle thing," she shot back, closing the door behind her.

"Geez, you humans have one track minds!"

* * *

A/N: O_o;;;


End file.
